martian love and alien pick-up lines: another top 10 list


Do you ever find yourself on a search engine, looking to see how your blog is doing on a particular subject or theme?  Yeah, I’ve never done that.

Generally speaking, though, it’s not been to see if someone will find my blog while searching for something worthwhile or even logical.  I’d love for someone to find my blog while searching for “church planting,” “Christian missions,” or “how to study the Bible.”  But these aren’t the phrases under which I find myself scouring the results for my own name and website.

No, my google searches are resigned to the odd and humorous.  I find myself wondering how in the world someone came to my site searching for:

  • pharisees haiku
  • bone fairy
  • barely making it into heaven [Do they think I’m writing about this, or are they describing me?  Either way, not what I’m going for…]
  • sexy beggars
  • this is why you’re fat
  • eagle sock
  • is diapers 3 syllables or 2

The overwhelmingly most popular (odd) way of arriving at my blog, though, is some variation on:

  • alien pick-up lines
  • astronaut pick-up lines
  • outer space pick-up lines

My blog consistently shows up in the top five options under these kinds of searches.*  There are dozens of people frequenting my website every week, desperate for creative ways to meet the fairer sex at Star Trek conventions.  And I realized just today that I’m failing these readers miserably.  Every guy deserves a shot at his lovely green classmate, who thrills with her super-human abilities to read minds and vaporize humans.  Every girl needs to have in her back pocket a sexy way of asking a guy to join her for an episode of Battle Star Galactica.  And every Martian needs to know the culturally appropriate words to use when asking an Earthling out for a social or romantic appointment in which two individuals attempt to engage one another , seeking to determine in short order the possibility of present and future compatibility.

And you guys know how I hate to disappoint my readers.  So without further ado, I offer you my top ten alien / astronaut pick-up lines:

10.  Are you an alien?  Because you just abducted my heart.

9.  Of all the planets in all the solar systems in all the galaxies, you walked into mine…

8.  I’d like to wrap my 36 arms around you.

7.  Is your dad an astronaut?  Because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

6.  Are you a carbon-based model?

5. Do you work for NASA?  Because you’re out of this world.

4.  I’m currently experiencing 10,000 Gs of LUV.

3.  If you were a laser, you’d be set on “stunning.”

2.  If a star fell every time I thought of you, the sky would be dark at night.

1.  Your eyes glow just like the twin suns on my home planet.

Any alien pick-up lines you’d like to add?  And tell me, is this how you wound up at my blog — searching for help with outer-space romance?  Be honest…


* If your goal is only to have a blog that is visited often — and aren’t concerned at all with the topic of said blog — might I suggest you begin by writing about alien romance and love?  There is definitely a wide open niche waiting to be filled by you (yes, you).  You could become the Michael Hyatt of aliens dating with purpose, productivity, and leadership.  Or the Jonathan Acuff of Stuff Aliens Like (who, by the way, is the Christian Lander of Stuff Christians Like.)


21 Comments

Filed under slightly humorous or amusing?, top ten lists

21 responses to “martian love and alien pick-up lines: another top 10 list

  1. Zee

    i love #7 and #3 (hmm… nice numbers too…) :D

    #1 reminds me of Song of Songs, SMV (Standard Mars Version)

  2. I don’t know whether to laugh, cry or barf with this list. LOL. Maybe laughcry would be good. Can you hear Mork saying these to Mindy? Maybe Independence Day wouldn’t have been so devastating if a little blog love language would have been used.

    Does this one work? Just looking at you makes my eyes bug out.

    As for searching the net: I never have done that. That is not a humble statement that is an “I am technologically challenged” statement since I don’t know how to do that.

  3. Kim

    Roses are red, your skin is blue…..

  4. ted

    If you’re going for a Star Trek theme, #3 should be “taser” rather than “laser.”

    “Are you working some kind of Jedi mind-trick? I can’t stop thinking about you?”

    • i’ve never seen an episode or a movie of star trek. and i don’t intend to start anytime soon — scratch that — ever.

      is that the pick-up line you used on mrs. lisa?

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  8. hahha i love these! and yes… i found this by searching martian love hahaha :)

  9. I just found this blog while searching for space themed pickup lines. No lie.

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