injustice in the ncaa: cam newton

image courtesy of trackemtigers.com

[*If you generally skip my posts concerning sports, this one is also about Christianity, slavery, and drawing and quartering people.  Come on, give just this one sports post a shot.]

Okay, I’ll admit it.  All this Cam Newton stuff has got me really riled up. You know when one character in a movie realizes something nobody else knows, and they try to explain it but no one believes them, and you just want to yell at the screen for them to listen to the guy, because he knows what he’s talking about?  That’s how I feel.  I don’t believe I’m smarter than everyone else (or anyone else) — that’s not my deal.  I just can’t seem to find anyone willing to think through this in logical fashion.  At least no one willing to offer me acceptable or reasonable answers.

I’ve posted on some comment boards, asking some of the very questions I asked in my last post.  Basically I’m wanting to know:

Why do so many of us support the punishment of innocent people in the area of college football recruitment?

Do we really think it’s fair to end the academic and athletic career of a student athlete whose greedy relative tried, unbeknownst to the player, to shop him around for money?

So far, I’ve received three types of answers:

1. We have to be consistent.  In the past we’ve punished some players for the sins of their relatives.  We can’t just change our minds now.  We’ve always done it this way.
2. We need to be extremely strict on this, so as to deter it from happening in the future.  We punish the player regardless of his involvement or knowledge of the wrongdoing because that will teach other students’ parents not to do this.
3. Are you an idiot?!  You must be, because everyone in the whole world has met and discussed this and we all agree except for you.  The NCAA agrees with us, as do most of the conference officials and university presidents.  We punish Cam Newton and others like him simply because most of us think we should — especially those really important people.

I don’t know about you, but I believe all three of these reasons to be full of crap.  Get this — using these same three arguments, I’ll offer some other suggestions that must be good, right, and logical:

1. Slavery is good. Really, we should keep this whole people-as-property thing going.  Why rid ourselves of a perfectly good system?  I mean we’ve always done it this way.
2. Henceforth, from this point on, we will draw-and-quarter any student athlete whose parent or other relative has inquired at any university concerning a pay-for-play plan.  Then we will send the four portions of his lifeless body to the four corners of these United States.  We will teach parents that they can’t do this sort of thing.  We’ve just got to hit them where it hurts. Slaughter their children.
3. Let’s keep the current BCS system forever; it’s so awesome and all the officials and school presidents like it so much already. Forget a playoff, everybody — computers and polls are where it’s at.

And just for the sake of pushing a little further, let me try this all again but with Christianity as my subject of choice:

1. Well, we’ve always met in a building with a steeple and a lot of pews that all face the front. And you want us to consider meeting in someone’s home now?  Where will the preacher put his pulpit?  And do we really have the funds to buy songbooks for everyone to keep at home?  How in the world will we know if everyone’s following our required order of worship (welcome – 2 songs – opening prayer – 2 songs – scripture reading – 1 song – communion – giving – 1 song and mark another in your songbooks – sermon – invitation song (previously marked) – elder speaks for a moment – song – closing prayer)?
2. All forms of dancing are wrong and evil.  Males and females cannot and should not swim together or near enough to one another to be seen while in bathing suits.  Any alcohol is sin, and Harry Potter is Satan incarnate.  Anyone involved in any of these activities — or who knows someone who is — will be shunned, gossiped about, and possibly disfellowshipped or excommunicated.
3. Are you kidding?!  Everyone knows the way to reach out to the lost is to have an awesome band on Sunday morning and a knock-off Starbucks coffee shop in what used to be the foyer (we now call it the cafe).  Yeah, all the biggest churches are doing it, and all the biggest Christian authors are writing about it….

Someone please offer me a better reason for punishing an innocent student athlete for the sins of his father.

6 laws for a safer tomorrow: protect our children

image courtesy of sinden.org

This is a dangerous world in which we live.  And I’m all for freedom and the pursuit of life and liberty — but we’ve desperately got to make some rules.  Kids are getting hurt out there.  Out of my deep love for humanity, I’d like to suggest we pass the following laws to safeguard American children. And if you have any allegiance to this great country, or any concern at all for our youth, you’ll sign my petition in support of said regulations:

Mandatory Knee and Elbow Pads for Everyone Under 16

image courtesy of urbanlime.com

Children’s bodies are still growing, and protecting their joints is a burden we must together bear.  This law will make sure Americans’ arms and legs are bending properly, and in the right places, for a long time to come.  And we’re not talking about during sporting events only — no, knee and elbow pads will be required from the time children wake up until they go to bed (at our new mandatory and nation-wide 7:00pm curfew).  We are calling on American Eagle, Gap, and Abercrombie to quickly get to work producing trendy and fashionable pads for the youth of this great nation.  If skinny jeans can become popular, we’re convinced elbow pads can, too.

Compulsory Waiting Periods (and Training Regimens) for Purchase of Video Games

We all know it’s not good for kids to sit on their bums playing Xbox all day.  This law requires that, before purchasing a game, a family must complete a two-month fitness program which includes (but is not limited to) running, weightlifting, yoga, daily stretching, and quick reflex training.  At the end of this two-month period each family member shall complete a race of no less than 10k, at which time the family will be given a voucher enabling them to purchase one (nonviolent) video game.  Additional vouchers will be given for exceptional performances and, especially, state records.  [Any individual able to, while wearing ankle weights, catch a flaming arrow fired from a professional archer's bow will qualify his/her family for a special exemption in which they can buy three video games while eating non-nonfat yoghurt and drinking butter.]

Changes in Police Arms and Conduct

As the defenders and protectors of the public, law enforcement personnel are role models to our children.  Much has been said about the impact of movie violence on our youth, but little attention has been paid to the influence these stalwarts of society affect on our children… with their weapons of mass destruction and potty mouth language.  From this point on, police-persons will not carry firearms and live rounds, but instead water guns.  And we all know if you’ve got nothing good to say, you shouldn’t say anything at all.  Therefore we will no longer permit language like this: “Alright scumbag, drop your weapon and come out with your hands up.”  Officers will instead speak to those good qualities possessed by evildoers:  ”Wow, you sure do know how to handle a piece; and you disarmed that alarm with great speed and efficiency.  Now, if you’ll kindly and gently place that gun on the ground and take two scissor-steps forward, Mother May-I would really appreciate it.”  And instead of reading criminals their rights, the officer and the criminal shall sit on the ground (criss-cross applesauce) and discuss how good boys and girls are supposed to treat one another.

New Regulations on Car Seats

image courtesy of comparestoreprices.co.uk

In many states we’re already providing a great service to our children by keeping them in car seats until they reach a weight of 120 pounds and the age of 14. Let’s make this the standard across the board.  And because we all know car seats provide a 250% increase in safety for our children, we will now require the use of car seats inside other car seats.  That’s right, double car seats.  Our children (and young teens) will be 500% safer in their Russian nesting seats, and we can all rest easier knowing it’s safer than ever for us to text and drive.

Counting to Ten

Children’s minds aren’t yet fully developed, so it’s sometimes difficult for them to grasp the very adult concepts of threat and punishment.  With the passing of this legislation, all parents will be required to count to “9 31/32″s before reaching “10″ and sending a child to his/her room.  It is absolutely crucial that we provide children ample time to understand our intentions before we go off half-cocked like crazy people — putting children in timeout after only counting to 3, and having used whole numbers.

No More Toys in Happy Meals

Fast food meals are incredibly unhealthy, and obesity is a tremendous problem in our nation among both adults and children.  With the toys that accompany their meals, McDonald’s and other restaurant chains are luring our children into their horrid dens of evil and clogging their arteries, all in order to make a quick buck.  This new law* will “allow toys to be given away with kids’ meals that have less than 600 calories, contain fruits and vegetables, and include beverages without excessive fat or sugar” only.**  And while we’re at it, we should weigh the adults upon entry and departure, so a bouncer can give them three flaming Indian Sunburns for every ounce of death food they ate.  And if they drank soda instead of water, a nice punch to the groin is probably appropriate.

**********

So, who’s with me?  Sign the petition below and include any appropriate comments.  Please feel free to suggest your own rules for the betterment of our nation and the safety of our children.  I’m convinced that, together, we can make the United States a safer place.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to envelop my daughter in bubble wrap before she goes out to play.

* This is an actual law being enacted in San Francisco — hence the quotation marks.  See this article:  Law Curbs McDonald’s Happy Meal Toys.  It was indeed the inspiration for this post.

** We’re going to call it the Sad Meal.  And I’m no expert on nutrition, but how many beverages have excessive fat?!  Are they serving french fry-flavored shakes?

dodging apologies

image courtesy of sunsports (when’s the last time the florida / georgia game was on sunsports?)

 

A few hours after the final edits on yesterday’s post, I came across a perfect real-life illustration of our culture’s lack of remorse:

Last Saturday, University of Florida’s Chas Henry was just about to kick a game-winning field goal in overtime when Georgia defensive coordinator Todd Grantham clutched his throat in a motion to the young kicker.  A grown 44-year old man giving the choke sign to a 21-year old college kid.

It’s not, however, the above occurrence that bothers me.  It was foolish and immature, to be sure.  But we’re talking about a game in which guys wear helmets and bulky pads so they can hit each other really hard.  The sport is a glorified version of “Kill the Man With the Ball” (and I love it).  This was a choke sign — not a death threat or a punch to the throat.  It’s an issue, but not a huge issue.

But the following bit is.

Grantham had this to say in response to questions about his actions:  “As a competitor, sometimes you get caught up in the heat of the moment.  I wish the situation hadn’t happened. It was a tough, hard-fought game.  They won it, and I’m ready to move forward and finish out the year strong.”

That’s not so bad.  I wish this hadn’t happened; let’s put it behind us.

But when pushed to offer an apology to the college kicker, the defensive coordinator only offered, “I’ve kind of basically said what I’m going to say.”

There is a HUGE difference between “I wish the situation hadn’t happened” and “I’m sorry for what I’ve done.”  This might not have been so noticeable if the first quote was able to stand alone.  But when specifically questioned about an apology, we don’t find one.  Instead we find pride, a lack of remorse, and the back side of a 44-year old man who is paid to lead, motivate, and teach young men how to act on a football field.

It was the heat of the moment, and I’m a competitor.

Translated:  It wasn’t my fault, but I can make this sound polite and gentlemanly.

**********

Allow me to end with a limerick:

The coach put a hand to his throat
suggesting the kicker would choke.
He felt no regret,
hoped all would forget.
I’m sure later he’ll claim he misspoke.

burning holy books and the terry jones debacle

image courtesy of theinsanityofthesane

Okay, so this is all just a bit ridiculous.  Could anyone have made up a more far-fetched story?  Here it is in it’s most up-to-date version (as of Friday, September 10 at 6:30 am in Tanzania):

The Reverend Terry Jones of Gainesville, Florida, and the Dove Outreach Center where he ministers, planned to burn a stack of Qurans in protest of the religion of Islam on Saturday, September 11.  The 50-member Pentecostal church and their pastor quickly became international media darlings, selling newspapers everywhere.  Christians from all over the world counseled Rev. Jones on what it means to be a Christian — that this book burning is neither Christlike nor a good idea.  Politicians and U.S. leaders counseled Rev. Jones on what it means to be an American — that this book burning will only fuel the recruitment of future terrorists and will also trigger Muslim attacks and American casualties.

The Reverend also met with Imam Muhammad Musri, the president of a Muslim group in Florida, and it was during this discussion that he announced his church would indeed no longer be burning the copies of the Islamic holy book.  Afterwards he explained this the Imam had promised, in return, to terminate the building of the mosque near ground zero.  When Musri denied having made such claims, Jones called him a liar and is now reconsidering the cancellation of his church’s Quran burning — saying that for now he has only suspended the burning.

Okay, so let’s just count the ridiculous happenings in this whole ordeal:

1. The proper Christian response to a false religion is to burn their holy book?!
2. World media decides that such a response (by a few people) is incredibly newsworthy — like top-news-story-in-the-world newsworthy.
3. The actions of this 50-member church are portrayed by many as being the norm for Christianity.  This, after all, is just what regular Christians do.
4. Christians feel as if they can talk sense into a guy who thinks burning Qurans is something the Holy Spirit has led him to do.
5. The Pope himself becomes involved.
6. President Obama attempts to persuade the Reverend not to burn the books because “this is a recruitment bonanza for Al Qaida. You could have serious violence in places like Pakistan and Afghanistan.”  And because Americans are likely to die as a result of Jones’ actions.
7. General Petraeus agrees and speaks out about it.
8. Many people claim that if American lives are lost, it will be the fault of Rev. Jones and Dove Outreach Church.
9. An important Muslim leader in Florida meets with the pastor who wants to burn his holy book, and convinces him not to do so (either with a promise to a halt the mosque project in New York or with a promise of a meeting with the leaders of that project).
10. Reverend Terry Jones either believes Muslim leaders would cancel the building of another international new story — er, I mean the mosque in New York — OR he just straight up lies about what Imam Musri promised him.
11. So… he reconsiders the Quran burning, but doesn’t put a date on it.  [Which could very well be seen as a ploy to keep the spotlight for a few more days or weeks.]

And now for a few short rants. I can’t help it — there is just so much that is crazy going on here:

• What Jesus does Dove Outreach Center read about in the Bible?  Are they serious?  This seems like a good idea to them?  This seems like something Christ would do, or would call us to do?

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”
Do not be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good.
– Romans 12:20-21

• I’ve always thought that verse was strange, because there obviously still exists the desire to put coals on someone’s head (which seems overly harsh at best), but it does make clear that we should overcome evil with good.  Not by heaping actual and real burning coals on the holy books of other religious groups.
• Why does the media attempt to portray Reverend Jones’ group as being accurately representative of Christianity as a whole?  Why do they refer to Dove Outreach Church as fundamental, evangelical Christianity — yet they refer to those Muslims who would seek to kill others as Muslim extremists?  Why can’t this church in Gainesville be Christian extremists?  Or why aren’t Muslim terrorists referred to as fundamental, everyday, run-of-the-mill Muslims?  Instead, one report I read referred to such people as “terrorist-minded individuals” who kill others.
• And while we’re on the subject of the the media’s portrayal of religion… if Islam is a peaceful religion (as is often claimed), why such the uproar about all the deaths that Reverend Jones is causing?  If there are only an extremely small number of Muslims who believe violence is the answer, why will the actions of 50 people in Florida cause riots and death and destruction?
• And do President Obama and General Petraeus (and others) really believe it will be Jones’ fault if people die?  I’m not saying I’m in support of what he’s doing, but am I now going to be held responsible for how others react to the things I do and say.  Because it just doesn’t seem fair for me to be accountable for the actions of murderers and terrorists.  Because they can’t respond in an appropriate fashion, it becomes my fault that they kill others?  Really?!  If killing Americans were an equal and commensurate response to the burning of the Quran, I’d at least understand the argument (though I’d still disagree).  But we’re talking burning books versus killing people.
• As much as I disagree with Dove Outreach Center’s motives and methods, they have every right to burn these books.  I guess this comment is probably unprovoked in that I haven’t heard anyone actually saying Jones DOESN’T have a right to burn the Quran.  But there were a whole lot of people speaking up for the rights of the Muslim community to build a community center and mosque near ground zero (our president included) and, I think, rightly so.  But where are those proponents of free speech now?  Check out this incredibly ironic remark:

“If he’s listening, I hope he understands that what he’s proposing to do is completely contrary to our values as Americans, that this country has been built on the notion of freedom and religious tolerance.”  – President Obama

• Did Terry Jones really believe the Muslims would cancel the building of the mosque in New York to keep him from burning some books?  I realize those books are important, but seriously?  Has he read the paper lately — the pressure put on this group, the money offered?!

I’m telling you, we couldn’t make this stuff up.  What do you think?

A couple of closely related stories and blog posts:
- a mother’s response to the ground zero controversy
- not near ground zero, they don’t

And a cartoon that speaks a great deal of truth to the situation:
- Jesus and Mo