top 12 list (of top 10 lists) on 12-12-12

It’s December 12, 2012, and we ought to celebrate!  You know we won’t experience the good fortune of a matching number month-day-year again until next century (and I fear I won’t be around to enjoy that one).  So…

• Eat a dozen donuts for breakfast.  
• Use the word twelve in every conversation you have today.  
• Run twelve miles… or twelve minutes.  
• Spend twelve dollars on a gift and give it to the twelfth person you see today.  
• Memorize the names of the twelve apostles — or if you’re Jewish perhaps the twelve tribes of Israel (are Jews any more likely to have memorized the twelve tribes than Christians are the twelve apostles?).
• Have a moment of silence at 12:12 (the one that hasn’t happened yet) in order to reflect on this rare occasion.

I don’t care much what you do.  But do something!  Celebrate this twelfth day of the twelfth month of the twelfth year in this century.  And if you do indeed decide to celebrate, leave a comment telling us all what you’re doing.

Oh, what’s that?  What am I doing on 12-12-12?  Well, for starters I’m offering you guys…

a very bieber vbs

Now, I don’t keep up with church VBS materials and their markets.  As a matter of fact, I didn’t realize until recently (two days ago) that VBS curriculum is big business.*  Apparently, it’s very big business.  Let me tell you…”vast amounts of money can be made in the service of God Amighty.”**

It was Paul Wilkinson, on his blog (a good one, by the way, to which I’m subscribed), who informed me the sale of VBS materials is indeed big business.  I also learned from Paul that a lot of companies are creating these materials really heavy on entertainment and really light on Bible.  While I suppose this is a concern to me, it’s not why I’m writing this blog post.  Something MUCH more important is taking place.

God’s third language

As I turned to leave Ibondo village, I realized I’d forgotten to pray for the interns I was entrusting to Matayo for the weekend.  So I turned to the preacher and said (in Swahili), “I want to pray for these guys before I head back to Geita.”

the 5 most likely origins of wedge salads

I have a new favorite TV show.

Yeah, my friend T brought a couple of seasons of “Modern Family” on DVD, and I think it’s hilarious.  But that’s besides the point.  I only bring it up because an episode of my new favorite show reminded me of something that really bothered me while in the U.S. last year.  I’ve not mentioned it until now, but I can’t keep it in any longer.

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Wedge salads?!  Seriously?

chasing chickens

Yesterday morning we vaccinated nearly 800 chickens.  And I learned something interesting:

No matter how athletic, agile, or elegant one may normally be, it is impossible to appear graceful while chasing a chicken. 

poorly placed holiday apostrophes

Yesterday I mentioned my frustration with (what should be known as) Mothers’ Day being touted as Mother’s Day.  That’s just wrong.  Now, in that day belonging to Saint Patrick, the apostrophe shall come before the “s.”  The same with Lincoln’s Birthday. But when our intent is to celebrate mothers everywhere (plural), clearly the holiday should be referred to as Mothers’ Day.  On this I will not budge.

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“So,” I thought to myself, “how many of our other holidays have been ruined by poor punctuation?”  Well…here’s a list* to at least get us started:

scratch ‘n’ sniff blog post

I recently heard about a new TV that will allow us to smell what we’re watching.  Samsung’s working on it and it’s (creatively) being called “Smell-o-Vision.”  Sounds to me like something out of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory or a really old SNL skit (do you remember the “Bass-O-Matic?”).  Anyway, you can read more about Samsung’s smelly TV here.

But all this got me thinking…. Frankly, if the engineers at Samsung (with their inferior brain size and second-rate lab equipment) can do this with television, I should be able to do it with my personal blog.  So I did.  But, as astoundingly intelligent as I am when it comes to technology and applied sciences, I just could not find a way to get the smells to emanate from the computer screen without having to scratch the screen itself.

my favorite animals, the oxford comma and you

This post is not about Vampire Weekend, though to answer their question it’s me who gives a cares a great deal about an Oxford comma.  In fact today’s entire discourse is about commas. Well… commas, grammar and syntax and sentence structure.  Do you see what I did there?  I left out the serial comma and the contents of this post are not quite so clear, are they?

The Oxford (or serial) comma is the comma which appears immediately before the coordinating conjunction in a list of three or more items.  You can see it below in red.

Ex.)  My favorite animals are pumas, unicorns, leprechauns, and books about turtles.

i left my wallet in el segundo or 7 songs that shaped my life

In January of this year, I was a little frustrated with all the backwards thinking being done on the internet.  Everyone was publishing their top posts of 2010 — those were LAST year’s top posts!  I never want to be one who rests on my laurels, so instead I predicted my top posts of 2011, even though they’d not yet been written.  This post is one of them.

So please join me, if you will.  Let’s go back in time – yeah, yeah, I just said a bunch of crap about not looking back (I also posted a link to my top posts of 2010, but you were probably too busy reading to notice) – and explore 7 songs from my childhood that made me who I am today.

5 reasons kjv readers aren’t celebrating

The King James Version of the Bible turns 400 this year.  Do you have plans to celebrate?

No.  Not really.

But it’s a very special occasion.  If I were born in 1611, you’d celebrate my birthday wouldn’t you?

Uhm… I guess?  But I don’t see what that has to do with an outdated and difficult-to-understand book.

It’s a ceremonious occasion.

Okay…?

Well, in your expert opinion, why are more people not taking advantage of this opportunity to extol the virtues of a book of such distinction?

Only a handful of us read it.  Why should we celebrate a book we don’t read?  I would, however, be all for observing The Message’s birthday.  Do you know when that will be?

No, I’m sorry.  I don’t.  

Too bad.  That’d be a heck of a party. 

But surely some people still read the KJV.  Right?  It’s poetic.

Yes, they still read it in pockets of south Alabama and Georgia.  They also use “thees” and “thous” in their prayers.  And if you interview any of them, I wouldn’t mention poetry.

What then, shall not these souls make merry on this blissful occasion?

Yeah… I don’t think you’ll find any birthday parties for the KJV even among these good brethren.  Here’s why:

5 Reasons Even People Who Read the KJV Are Not Celebrating Its 400-Year Anniversary

1. We can not know with any certainty the actual date of the KJV’s birth.  Therefore it is unwise at best — and sinful at worst — to commemorate the birth of the KJV on any given day. 
2. As Christians we are expected to celebrate the birthday of the Bible every day (or at least every Sunday) — and not just one day out of one year.  We celebrate by reading the word and learning from it.
3. The Bible never authorizes any birthday celebration for books — itself included.  We seek to celebrate where the Bible celebrates and sit in silence and dispassion where it is silent and dispassionate.
4. The observance of the KJV’s birthday most definitely originated in some obscure pagan holiday, ritual, or ceremony which involved evil spirits, immoral sexual acts, and/or Harry Potter.
5. By celebrating the 400-year anniversary of the KJV, we would be admitting that it was not indeed the Bible from which Paul read.  And we’ve kind of got a lot riding on that.