are youth ministries killing our churches?

Are youth ministries killing our churches?  

waiting tables, washing feet: a gratuities tutorial

image courtesy of ethisphere.com

[I recently came across this infographicfrom Conde Nast Traveler.  It highlights tipping customs all over the world, and even explains in detail what is expected here in the United States.  Then I remembered a blog post I'd written about how Christians are often poor tippers -- and, therefore, poor witnesses for Christ.  Here is that essay.]

 

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At a restaurant during Sunday lunch:

• “Do you have any idea how expensive it is to feed a family of five AND leave a 20% tip?!”
• “If I wanted to clean up after my kids, we’d have eaten at home.”
• “We paid to eat here, and we’ll sit at this table until we’ve fully enjoyed our time of Christian fellowship.”
• “Although I’m a Christian, I’m a stingy, selfish, inconsiderate person and don’t mind showing it in public — especially to someone as lowly as a waitress at Chili’s.  Now where were we?  Oh, yeah, I was critiquing today’s sermon…”

One of my favorite bloggers is Randy Morgan, over at Your Best Life Later.  I just read his latest post titled “The Sunday Lunch Crowd,” and wanted to send you his way.  It’s worth a read, especially if you ever go out to dinner on Sunday afternoons.  I’m going to add to his thoughts just a few of my own below.

I Was a Waiter Once…

Waiting tables paid for the last year of my undergraduate degree.  I never liked working the Sunday lunch crowd, despite the fact that they were all “like me” and Christian.  Randy addressed, in his essay, both the horrible tips and the large groups who sit forever, preventing their servers from making any cash above the miserly gratuities, which they’ve so begrudgingly given.

But one thing Randy didn’t mention was the way these “good Christian” families generally make no attempt to clean up after their kids. I’ve even heard some Christian mothers say, “If I wanted to clean up after my kids, we’d have eaten at home.”  I’m not saying these parents need to bus tables or wash dishes.  But they could at least pick up a few of the messy fragments of crayons that were smashed with salt shakers after being dipped in honey mustard sauce.  They could transfer some of the half-eaten french fries and chicken fingers from their tables to their plates.  Or they could utilize a few of the extra napkins they asked for in an attempt to at least begin the process of cleaning their second bottle of ketchup off the wall — or was that the first bottle… and the reason for the second?

Waiting tables was the catalyst for me to reevaluate my Christian witness through tipping.  If you are a Christian, you represent Christ everywhere you go and in everything you do — but ESPECIALLY on Sunday afternoon when you’re dressed in your Sunday best, church bulletin in hand (to get 10% off your total meal purchase).*  And just in case anyone is still wondering, leaving a gospel tract is not an acceptable substitute for tipping.

And the Best Tippers Are…

Some of the best tippers I had were big groups of drinkers and college girls with their dad’s credit cards. Next were my regulars, who were also those whom I enjoyed serving the most — real conversation and real appreciation… and sometimes leftover portions of dessert (illegal for me to eat?).

But the best tippers (far and away) are always other waiters.  I would double my tips on a Friday or Saturday night with one 8-top if the waitstaff from the restaurant next door came in for drinks after work.  There’s a lot to be said for empathy.  When you understand someone else’s situation, you’re much more likely to respond appropriately and in love.

Mandatory Service for All Christians?

Maybe the church should ask its members to fulfill a mandatory service requirement, waiting tables in the restaurant industry.  Funny, isn’t it (or sad), that it’s almost impossible to imagine many of our church members humbly fulfilling that position of service?

And you know what I think… if we’re not willing to wait tables, we’re for sure not willing to wash feet.

Recap

• Randy Morgan is the man.
• The Sunday lunch crowd DOES NOT represent Christ well.
• As a matter of fact, large groups of alcoholics are more generous, kind, and thoughtful than are Sunday lunch Christians.
• Gospel tracts are not suitable for tipping.  [Nor, in my opinion, are they suitable for evangelism.]
• Servers should not eat their customers’ leftovers.
• If I’m ever in charge of a church, there will be a mandatory requirement that all members wait tables for a period of at least one month.
• If you can’t leave a generous tip, don’t go out to eat.  [This one wasn't covered in the post, but should've been.]
• Please think about how you act in public, and how it reflects on my God.

* You know the 10% you save with that church bulletin would be a great start for a tip.  And it’s basically free.

spiritual potty-training and christian unity

Are our churches made up of infants?  

Unity is of utmost important in Christianity.  We miss that sometimes.  Which, perhaps, is not all that surprising when we look at Christianity as a prescribed set of doctrines to which we must adhere.  Alter the interpretation of one passage, and a fence must be built — to separate us from those heathens on the other side.  Or we overlook sin and immorality within our own tribe, because it is proper belief that demonstrates salvation — and not righteousness.  I’m afraid we’ve placed too great of importance on knowledge and right belief, and too little on loving one another and being obedient to God.

Paul would call us a bunch of babies.  No wait… Paul DOES call us a bunch of babies.  In Ephesians 4.

In this chapter Paul encourages the church at Ephesus to seek unity.  Unity is described as a function of the Holy Spirit, and it is realized as the body of Christ matures.  Let me repeat that, because it’s worth repeating:

Unity in the church is the work of the Holy Spirit.  And it is one of the most obvious and unambiguous indications that a group has reached maturity in Christ.

And we rarely exhibit it.

Perhaps I’ve got it all wrong.  Maybe I’m being too critical.  I certainly do want to join in with others in celebrating the unity we already possess — or at least toward which we’re making strides.  And I’ve experienced incredible unity in some congregations; I thank God for those churches.  But it seems to me these are the exceptions, rather than the rule.  And look at the discord between congregations.  Or worse yet, between denominations.  What’s a Christian seeking unity to do?

Paul happens to offer some very practical advice in Ephesians 4.  If you’ll allow me, I’d suggest the keys to allowing the Spirit to bring unity are:

1.  Individuals should live as followers of Christ ought to:

• Be humble, gentle, and patient.
• Have a soft heart.  Be open to hearing from your brothers and sisters.
• Don’t follow your sinful and selfish desires (especially lying, anger, greed, and sexual impurity).
• Be honest, work hard, and share.
• Give yourself for others.
• Imitate God.

2.  Within the body, we should love one another.  This means:

• Play the role assigned you by God.  Your gift is needed to bring maturity (and unity) to the church.
• Speak the truth to one another — but always in love.
• Forgive one another.  [And I don’t see any exceptions.]
• Be a people of compassion and kindness.  Only speak what is beneficial.
• Share with one another.  Your things are not your own.

Some won’t like that I’ve written as if knowledge always stands in conflict with the above behaviors.  They want it to be both/and –not either/or.  And they’re right to desire such; I’m there with them.  Knowledge does not always stand in opposition to love and obedience.  Godly knowledge never does.  And this knowledge from God is desperately needed for us to reach unity.  Paul indeed says as much in Ephesians 4.  

My argument today, though, is simply that our knowledge is too often not a Godly knowledge — despite the fact that we come to it by means of Bible study.  I learn from Paul (in Ephesians 4) that if ours is a knowledge which does not build the church up to maturity AND together in unity, then it is not a Godly knowledge.  It is the knowledge of man — counted as trickery, deceitful scheming, and mere winds of doctrine.

I don’t wish us to do away with knowledge.  But no amount of Bible study alone is going to make us into the people Paul describes in Ephesians 4.  Nope, that will take 1) the Holy Spirit at work in us and 2) our willingness to be obedient to the teachings of Jesus.  Too often this is an unpopular answer.  But it’s the right one.

Spiritual potty-training.  That’s what we need.

God’s word in chains

image courtesy of sam witney

 

Hypocrisy. Inconsistency.  Convenient faith. Culture over God’s word.  A deductive approach to Bible study.

I’ve got nothing against Patrick Henry himself.  I simply believe Mr. Henry is representative of one of Christianity’s greatest problems today — and for all time.  In my book he’s guilty of no more than we are; but an objective look at history often makes obvious the errors of today.

Patrick Henry is known for his famous quote, “Give me liberty or give me death.”  That quote, with fuller context, is here:

“It is only in this way that we can hope to arrive at truth, and fulfill the great responsibility which we hold to God and our country. Should I keep back my opinions at such a time, through fear of giving offense, I should consider myself as guilty of treason towards my country, and of an act of disloyalty toward the Majesty of Heaven, which I revere above all earthly kings. … Are we disposed to be of the number of those who, having eyes, see not, and, having ears, hear not, the things, which so nearly concern their temporal salvation? For my part, whatever anguish of spirit it may cost, I am willing to know the whole truth; to know the worst, and to provide for it. Let us not, I beseech you, sir, deceive ourselves. … Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!“

Mr. Henry’s devotion to God will not allow him to stand passively by, as this new birth of a nation is oppressed by a former government.  He has a responsibility to God and to his country to do otherwise.  Note that his words of “chains and slavery” are describing a young America under British rule.  It would be better to die than to allow this injustice.

Concerning that liberty and freedom, we should be suspicious of anyone who seeks to take away these rights:

“Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect everyone who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force. Whenever you give up that force, you are inevitably ruined.”

And of his love of the word of God:

“The Bible is worth all the other books which have ever been printed.”

Let me remind us of just one verse from that great book — “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.”  Mr. Henry, your thoughts:

“I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience. I know of no way of judging the future but by the past.”

That’s odd — but what about the importance of Christianity, Patrick?

“I have now disposed of all my property to my family. There is one thing more I wish I could give them, and that is the Christian religion.”

Speaking of property, it was Mr. Patrick Henry who stood before delegates planning to ratify the Constitution and advised against it.  His argument:

“They’ll free your niggers.”*

* It seems Mr. Henry should have thought a little harder about his own words here: “The liberties of a people never were, nor ever will be, secure, when the transactions of their rulers may be concealed from them.”

– A special thanks to Andreas Kluth for calling to my attention this last Henry quote — in his “ode to Alexander Hamilton.”

powerpoint pornography and God on worship

Our God on worship:

This is the kind of person I appreciate:

The one who is humble and repentant, and worships by receiving my words with obedience.

What today passes as worship is only sin, and brings me no pleasure.  He who “leads prayer” on a Sunday morning might as well call on the name of Satan, asking HIM to guide, guard, and direct.  And the one who “waits on the Lord’s Table” should instead defecate on it.  When they put my money in the collection plate, it is to me as if they were begrudgingly donating dismembered human body parts.  And the guy who’s preaching might as well use his fancy powerpoint computer program to show pornography in the assembly of the “saints.”  While they’re at it, they should sell popcorn in the foyer, and use the money to build a golden calf.  [There's no money in giving away free coffee.]

They have chosen to make worship about themselves.  What was intended to bring me joy has become nothing more than a self-serving list of dos and do-nots, which have the appearance of holiness — for two or three hours a week.  These people love their assemblies with a selfish love, and they glory in what they are able to produce.  So I will respond appropriately, which will not be pleasant.  They’ll receive that which they fear most.  For when I invited them to me, no one came.  When I gave instructions, no one listened.  Instead they did evil and attempted to hide it with these assemblies they call church.  I am more than displeased.

– Isaiah 66:2b-4

image courtesy of storehousechicago.org

another trinity

image courtesy of trackemtigers.com

[Warning: Scathing assault* on Christianity to come.]

Jeremiah 2:26-28 (and the actual passage):

As a college quarterback** would be disgraced were it proved he was playing for cash,
so Christianity is disgraced —
its adherents, their leaders and teachers, their priests and their pastors, all.
They say to knowledge, “You are our father.”
To money, “You are our friend.”
To popularity, influence, and control, “You represent our greatest goals and ambitions.”
They have turned their backs toward me instead of their faces;
yet when they are in trouble, they say, “Come and save us!”
Where are knowledge, wealth, and power?  Let that trinity save you!
As if three were the number of your gods — but, no…
you have as many gods as you have denominations, O church.

***********

* This attack is overstated, and does not reflect my view of Christianity as a whole.  I do not believe the following is representative of all of us — or even most of us.  And I will not be venturing a guess as to the actual percentage to which it does and should apply.  I will simply state:

1. That I don’t mean this as an attack at all.  Rather, I’ve been reading through Jeremiah and applying it as best I can to our current culture and context.  After rewriting this passage in my own words, to address today’s church, I realized it might come across as harsh and excessive.  This was not my intention.
   

2. However, the ideas presented are indeed serious problems within Christianity today.

** Any seeming relationship between this phrasing and Cameron Newton of Auburn University is completely and totally intentional.  I say Cam’s innocent until proven guilty and — if he indeed is eligible to play — should win the Heisman hands down.  Full disclosure: I attended Auburn and desperately want all of this to be character assassination and nothing more.  War Eagle!

sleeping in a pool of my own urine

image courtesy of medimanage.com

We’ve been without electricity a lot lately — which isn’t so horrible in the daytime.  But at night it’s bothersome at best, wearisome at worst.  Kerosene lanterns make it bearable, but I never enjoy those moments of stumbling down a dark hallway in search of matches and said lanterns.

What’s interesting is that my reaction to sudden darkness varies depending on time and situation.  If we’re watching television at 9:30, I’m likely to say, “Let’s just forget the lanterns and go to bed.”  If it’s 7:30, I’m much more likely to get out lanterns and candles and do some reading.  If I wake to a crying Baylor, my cellphone provides enough light to find and pat her back to sleep.   If I wake during the night needing to use the restroom, I’m most likely to decide it’s not worth it and just pee in the bed — we do have plastic sheets for a reason.

Isaiah 59:9-11 (my paraphrase):

We are far from having right relationships with one another, and a great distance from right relationship with God as well.

Our search for justice and righteousness is like hunting for the sun at midnight.  We desperately look for light while walking in the dark shadows of our own sin.  Like blind men, we grope along the wall, hobbling in the direction we think is right — our eyes unable to tell us.  It’s not yet time for lunch, and we stumble along as if the sun’s already gone down.

Amidst the strong and healthy, we are like the dead.  Like hungry animals searching for our next meal, we grumble and groan in our search for justice — yet find none.  We seek our deliverance, but it’s so very far away.

Isaiah describes a people searching for deliverance, perhaps oblivious that it is their own sins and injustices which have indeed placed them in need of salvation.  It’s not news to me that mankind is searching for right relationship while in the darkness of his own sins.  What’s interesting is that Isaiah doesn’t speak to that part of humanity perfectly willing to dwell in self-induced darkness.

I have to wonder about those individuals who are not searching at all for a right relationship with God — or with others.  Some of us have simply decided it’s not worth getting up in the middle of the night without electricity; we pee in our beds and seem perfectly content to lie in our own urine.

Here’s to the search for justice and righteousness.  May we never be satisfied with wet sheets.

as if

The words of God to the prophet in Isaiah 58 (bolds and all caps mine):

“Shout it aloud, do not hold back.
Raise your voice like a trumpet.
Declare to my people their rebellion
and to the house of Jacob their sins.

For day after day they seek me out;
they seem eager to know my ways,
AS IF they were a nation that does what is right
and has not forsaken the commands of its God.”

Sound familiar to anyone?

• “Let’s really seek God’s face this morning, as we sing praises to his name.”
• “I really need to work more on my personal relationship with God.”
• “You should pray for a sign so that you can truly know God’s will.”
• “I want to know you, I want to hear your voice, I want to know you more.  I want to touch you, I want to see your face, I want to know you more.”

Are we seeking God’s face, seeming eager to know him — all the while being disobedient to his commands?  If so, God thinks that odd.

[More on this subject and on Isaiah 58 to come -- fasting: for me or for the oppressed?]

not near ground zero, they don’t

In 1916, a group of Greek immigrants opened the Greek Orthodox Christian Church of St. Nicholas in New York City.  It stood there until September 11, 2001, when the second of the World Trade Center towers collapsed on top of it, the result of a horrible terrorist attack.  The church has been attempting to rebuild their place of worship since that time, working with the proper authorities to do so.  There was even an agreement reached at one time between the Archdiocese and the Port Authority for a particular area to be set aside for the church’s use.  But it seems the city has now reneged on their offer, and St. Nicholas Greek Orthodox Church is fighting a losing battle to reconstruct their building just a block or two from ground zero.

I say we don’t let them build their place of worship — not near ground zero, anyway.  And here are my reasons:

1. Where is their funding coming from? Sure they say the city is compensating them for moving from their original site, but can they provide us with some proof?  Now I don’t claim to know much about the Greek Orthodox Church, but I’m guessing it’s pretty similar, or even related to, the Eastern Orthodox Church (which I’ve heard of).  And so, it must have some ties to the east.  And there are terrorists in the east — especially in the middle of it.  So I demand to know where the funding is coming from for this so-called “Orthodox” church.  No building’s going up until I see financial records, I tell you.
2. Do any of us really know what the Greek Orthodox Church believes or practices? I know they speak really old languages during their services, wear funny robes and hats, and do a lot of chanting.  And their church calendar begins on September 1st and ends on August 31st.  It sounds like some kind of evil cult if, you ask me.  You know what I think?  I think if these Greek people want to have church buildings in America, they need to learn how to use American calendars, and they need to start speaking American.  They had better cut it out with all the chanting stuff and immediately forfeit anything that looks or sounds unfamiliar to me.  No doubt the immigrants who started these Greek churches were illegal in the first place.  Can somebody make these guys show us some birth certificates, please?
3. Ground zero is hallowed ground. And no one should be able to build any house of worship there unless they agree with me.  And, frankly, I’m uncomfortable with some of the things this Greek Orthodox Church does.  They shouldn’t offend me or make me uncomfortable, especially if they claim to be Christian; that’s just plain insensitive.  What’s worse is that I’m sure they’re doing it on purpose, just to rub it in my face.  I’ve personally asked them to change their choice of location, but they refused and said they believe their building will encourage a free exchange of spiritual ideas among the greater religious community.  That’s not true.  Only my church would be able to accomplish such a monumental task in that particular location.
4. I tell you the only way I’d be willing to change my mind is if they didn’t call this thing a church building, but instead referred to it as a community learning center or something.  Yeah, I suppose I could go for that.  Those crazy Greeks with their funny hats.

[For more reading on the St. Nicholas situation, see these articles in The New York Times and FOX News.  Or see this news release from the Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of America.  For my views on the whole mosque ordeal (if I were a female with kids -- otherwise called a mother), go here.]

waiting tables, washing feet: a lesson in gratuities

image courtesy of ethisphere.com

Overheard at a restaurant during Sunday lunch:

• “Do you have any idea how expensive it is to feed a family of five AND leave a 20% tip?!”
• “If I wanted to clean up after my kids, we’d have eaten at home.”
• “We paid to eat here, and we’ll sit at this table until we’ve fully enjoyed our time of Christian fellowship.”
• “Although I’m a Christian, I’m a stingy, selfish, inconsiderate person and don’t mind showing it in public — especially to someone as lowly as a waitress at Chili’s.  Now where were we?  Oh, yeah, I was critiquing today’s sermon…”

One of my favorite bloggers is Randy Morgan, over at Your Best Life Later.  I just read his latest post titled “The Sunday Lunch Crowd,” and wanted to send you his way.  It’s worth a read, especially if you ever go out to dinner on Sunday afternoons.  I’m going to add to his thoughts just a few of my own below.

Waiting tables pretty much paid for my last year of my undergraduate degree.  I never liked working the Sunday lunch crowd, despite the fact that they were all “like me” and Christian.  Randy addressed, in his essay, both the horrible tips and the large groups who sit forever, preventing their servers from making any cash above the miserly gratuities, which they’ve so begrudgingly given.

But one thing Randy didn’t mention was the way these “good Christian” families generally make no attempt to clean up after their kids. I’ve even heard some Christian mothers say, “If I wanted to clean up after my kids, we’d have eaten at home.”  I’m not saying these parents need to bus tables or wash dishes.  But they could at least pick up a few of the thousands of fragments of crayons that were smashed with salt shakers after being dipped in honey mustard sauce.  They could transfer some of the half-eaten french fries and chicken fingers from their tables to their plates.  Or they could utilize a few of the extra napkins they asked for in an attempt to at least begin the process of cleaning their second bottle of ketchup off the wall — or was that the first bottle, and the reason for the second?

Waiting tables was the catalyst for me to reevaluate my Christian witness through tipping.  If you are a Christian, you represent Christ everywhere you go and in everything you do — but ESPECIALLY on Sunday afternoon when you’re dressed in your Sunday best, church bulletin in hand (to get 10% off your total meal purchase).**  And just in case anyone is still wondering, leaving a gospel tract is not an acceptable substitute for tipping.

Some of the best tippers I had were big groups of drinkers and college girls with their dad’s credit cards. Next were my regulars, who were also those whom I enjoyed serving the most — real conversation and real appreciation… and sometimes leftover portions of dessert (illegal for me to eat?).

But the best tippers (far and away) are always other waiters.  I would double my tips on a Friday or Saturday night with one 8-top if the waitstaff from the restaurant next door came in for drinks after work.  There’s a lot to be said for empathy.  When you understand someone else’s situation, you’re much more likely to respond appropriately and in love.

Maybe the church should ask its members to fulfill a mandatory service requirement, waiting tables in the restaurant industry.  Funny, isn’t it (or sad), that it’s almost impossible to imagine many of our church members humbly fulfilling that position of service?

And you know what I think… if we’re not willing to wait tables, we’re for sure not willing to wash feet.

Recap

• Randy Morgan is the man.
• The Sunday lunch crowd DOES NOT represent Christ well.
• As a matter of fact, large groups of alcoholics are more generous, kind, and thoughtful than are Sunday lunch Christians.
• Gospel tracts are not suitable for tipping.  [Nor, in my opinion, are they suitable for evangelism.]
• Servers should not eat their customers’ leftovers.
• If I’m ever in charge of a church, there will be a mandatory requirement that all members wait tables for a period of at least one month.
• If you can’t leave a generous tip, don’t go out to eat.  [This one wasn't covered in the post, but should've been.]
• Please think about how you act in public, and how it reflects on my God.

* Those of you waiting for a follow-up to the “definition of gospel” post will have to wait a few more days (not that waiting on a post of mine will be difficult — some of you were probably hoping to miss it altogether).  It’s just that, to be honest, I need more time and more intelligence to write that post.  It kind of overwhelms me and I feel ill-prepared.  Still, I’m working on it.  And plus, today’s Saturday.

** You know the 10% you save with that church bulletin would be a great start for a tip.  And it’s basically free.