image courtesy of trackemtigers.com
Auburn will be playing in the national championship in January (this writer types while still grumbling about 2004).
Here are a few quotes (take a guess at how many are true):
“Auburn was too good for us.” – South Carolina coach, Steve Spurrier
“I ain’t never got beat like this before.” — South Carolina receiver, Alshon Jeffery
“On the day Cam Newton transferred out of Blinn College, I became the toughest man in Texas. I hope he doesn’t get drafted by the Cowboys or the Texans.” — Chuck Norris
“We had some great players, but never a better team than this one.” — Former Auburn coach, Pat Dye
“Our short arms and sharp teeth are no match for Cameron Newton or the Auburn Tigers.” — Tyrannosaurus Rex everywhere (the plural is indeed “Rex”)
“I want to be the greatest player in Auburn history.” — Cameron Newton (to Bo Jackson)
“You are the greatest player in Auburn history.” — Brett Harrison
“Cam Newton is the second-best college player I’ve ever seen. Herschel Walker, and only Herschel Walker, was better. And not by much.” – Mark Bradley
“I believe Cameron Newton is the best college football player to ever put on a uniform. And Auburn University is the best school in all the SEC. We Georgia Bulldogs never could touch them; we used to pee our pants before Auburn games — some guys would go through four or five uniforms in one game day. That’s where we came up with the black uniform idea; at first it was yellow, but we thought that would just look too stupid. We were right — have you guys seen Oregon?” — Former best college football player ever, Herschel Walker
“On the day Cam Newton transferred
out of Blinn College, I became the toughest man in Texas.” – Chuck Norris
And below is a picture of our competition for the national championship — and how amazingly ridiculous they will look when we beat them (and before). [Auburn is ranked #1 in the BCS and will be wearing home uniforms in Glendale, Arizona -- nice-looking, respectable home uniforms like the one pictured above... worn by Cameron Newton, quite possibly the greatest college quarterback in history.]
The players above were told to stand in numerical order. And Oregon will be wearing yellow when they meet the Auburn Tigers.
Please feel free to discuss in the comments how stupid the Oregon uniforms look or how many of the above quotes are true.