God’s third language

As I turned to leave Ibondo village, I realized I’d forgotten to pray for the interns I was entrusting to Matayo for the weekend.  So I turned to the preacher and said (in Swahili), “I want to pray for these guys before I head back to Geita.”

poorly placed holiday apostrophes

Yesterday I mentioned my frustration with (what should be known as) Mothers’ Day being touted as Mother’s Day.  That’s just wrong.  Now, in that day belonging to Saint Patrick, the apostrophe shall come before the “s.”  The same with Lincoln’s Birthday. But when our intent is to celebrate mothers everywhere (plural), clearly the holiday should be referred to as Mothers’ Day.  On this I will not budge.

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“So,” I thought to myself, “how many of our other holidays have been ruined by poor punctuation?”  Well…here’s a list* to at least get us started:

brett’s morning blend (16feb12)

Grab your coffee and enjoy the links.

The Importance of Roughhousing With Your Kids

This just in from The Art of Manliness blog: good fathers wrestle with their kids.  It’s really beneficial to their development, guys.  Go on, put your kid in a headlock.

brett’s morning blend (02feb12)

Today’s (pre-morning blend) Headlines:

• Harrison family still waiting for Harper Mae.  Christie has appointment with the doctor today.
• Brett struggles to accomplish anything in the 90+ degree temperatures (98+% humidity) of Dar es Salaam.  Wishes air conditioning were more accessible / affordable in the house the Harrison family rented.*
• New study shows people addicted to coffee (and the caffeine contained within) continue to drink the stuff no matter how hot their surroundings.  Good news for all coffee lovers going to hell.
• Morning blend makes its return as a weekly feature at aliens and strangers.

my favorite animals, the oxford comma and you

This post is not about Vampire Weekend, though to answer their question it’s me who gives a cares a great deal about an Oxford comma.  In fact today’s entire discourse is about commas. Well… commas, grammar and syntax and sentence structure.  Do you see what I did there?  I left out the serial comma and the contents of this post are not quite so clear, are they?

The Oxford (or serial) comma is the comma which appears immediately before the coordinating conjunction in a list of three or more items.  You can see it below in red.

Ex.)  My favorite animals are pumas, unicorns, leprechauns, and books about turtles.

brett’s morning blend (13may11)

Application, Application, Application

A short but significant reminder to put into practice the words of God.

Algebra of the Seven Sins

The Seven Deadly Sins in chart form to show what happens when they “crossbreed.”

7 Things You Didn’t Realize You’re Doing All Wrong

You should breathe into your stomach, you should squat while pooping, and a list of five other things you’re not doing correctly.

Time-Lapse Photography at the Touch of a Mouse

Use your mouse to control the sun.  [That's kind of a funny sentence.]

360-Degree Reverse Photography

Since we’re on the subject of photography, these images are pretty remarkable.

Dignan’s Notebook

Any fans of Bottle Rocket in the house?  There’s got to be.  This awesome fan-site has recreated Dignan’s 50-year plan for all to read.  The larger site is worth looking at as well.  And if you’ve not seen the movie, you’re really missing out.  

“One morning, over at Elizabeth’s beach house, she asked me if I’d rather go water-skiing or lay out. And I realized that not only did I not want to answer THAT question, but I never wanted to answer another water-sports question, or see any of these people again for the rest of my life.” 

Dialect Survey

If you’re a fan of linguistics, you’ll really enjoy this site.  If you’ve ever wondered what percentage of Americans pronounce mayonnaise like you do, you’ll enjoy this site.  If you say “vinegar and oil” instead of “oil and vinegar,” you’re definitely in the minority.  And if you don’t call it a firefly or a lightning bug — but instead a “peenie wallie” — then you are just plain strange (and probably from Wisconsin).

prayer and the ambiguous direct object infix

image courtesy of heavenawaits

[I'm building a small soccer field in my back yard.  We moved a bunch of dirt around to make the yard level.  Then we added manure and planted grass.  The grass is growing, but it'll be three or four months before we can play on it, I think.  But that's all besides the point -- just a little aside.]

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Five Tanzanian guys helped to plant the grass on the soccer field; and we got it all done in one day.  Christie and I wanted to feed the guys a good Tanzanian meal, so we asked Margaret to cook for the guys — and to cook something they’d really enjoy.  She did.  And the guys anxiously awaited lunch.  

Once we were all washed up and the food was set out, we decided to pray.  Not all these guys are religious, so I asked Kulwa (a Christian) to pray before our meal.  After some discussion as to whether he should pray in Sukuma or Swahili (Swahili was decided upon), he bowed his head and began by saying:

“Tumshukuru.”

Translation:  ”We should thank him (or her).” Or even “Let’s thank him (or her).”

See that little ‘m’ towards the beginning of the word?  That’s a direct object marker; it tells us we’re thanking a single person (or being, in this case).  Kulwa could have said, “Tumshukuru Mungu,” and it would have been a very specific, “Let’s thank (him) God.”  

But the him is assumed when preparing to pray, right?

Not if you’re Oscar, one of the other guys in the group — one who was not so accustomed to praying before meals.  He heard, “Let’s thank him/her,” and quickly responded aloud, interrupting Kulwa’s prayer with an emphatic, “Thank you, Margaret!”

We all had a good laugh.  [Except maybe Kulwa who possibly thought Oscar's comments sacrilegious.]  In the end, though, God was thanked, Margaret was thanked, the guys where thanked, and I’m going to have a beautiful (yet small) soccer field.

Also, it’s always a good idea to thank both God AND the cook for the food.

brett’s morning blend (12apr11)

Very busy day; got lots of work done.  Amazing amounts, in fact.  Maybe a record for the most productive day ever in Geita (…by anyone).  Christie and I also are entertaining our first overnight Tanzanian guest.  I want to publish this post before he gets out of the shower, so today’s morning blend contains no commentary. I guess you’ll link to look, if linking liking move.*

A Recently Discovered Letter of Critique Written to the Apostle Paul

Our Journey Toward Women in Leadership

PETA Upset with the Bible for Calling Animals “It”

Why Do Women Find Funny Men Attractive?

I Had No Idea Mountain Goats Could Climb Walls Like These!

Bilinguals See the World in a Different Way

Infographic Ranking the Difficulty of Learning Different Languages (for English Speakers)

Top Ten Movie Misquotes — Darth Vader is Number One

A Flowchart to Help You Determine Where You Should Pee

* Anybody?

making exercise

I was out for a run this morning and passed a group of guys building a fence.  One of them obviously wanted to practice his English and called out to me, “Hey, man.”

I responded with, “Good morning.”

Then, in a really strange cadence, he offered:

“You… are.  Making exercise.”

“Well, yes, I suppose I am making exercise,”  I mumbled, probably already out of earshot.

Although, if you ask me, making exercise sounds like a really poor colloquialism for the marital act.  Of course, it’s not any worse than that one.

brett’s morning blend (13apr10)

Seriously, I Need to Eat This: the Double Down

This sandwich is why I never should have left the states.  The moment I remove myself from within driving distance of a fast food restaurant, KFC invents what might be the best thing since to replace sliced bread.

And this blog post is just one of the reasons I subscribe to NPR’s Wait, Wait… Don’t Blog Me.  On “Sandwich Monday,” seven of Wait, Wait‘s writers and staff ate the sandwich for which I should’ve stayed in the U.S., lived, and then commented on it.

NCAA to Investigate Butler Basketball

We all get excited about a lesser-celebrated school playing up to the level of the big boys in the NCAA Tourney… and then news like this is made public.  Steroids in baseball, EPO in cycling, cheating in “golf,” and now this.  I’m becoming a fan of bowling, darts, or billiards, where the only performance enhancers are cigarettes and beer.  And those are just to give the “athletes” something to do while they’re standing around.  [Also why so many baseball players dip tobacco -- it's either that or play with the grass in the outfield.]

Learn a Language

The Foreign Service Institute has some great material for learning new languages.  And it’s free.  There are hundreds of lessons in over 40 different languages.  I’ve only looked in detail at the Swahili stuff, but if it’s representative of the whole, these are legit.

National Poetry Month

As you probably already know and have been celebrating now for 13 days, April is National Poetry Month.  I live in Tanzania, and we don’t celebrate poetry; instead April is National Eat Rice at Every Meal Month — wait a minute… didn’t we celebrate that in March… and February… and….  The link above is to poets.org, where you will find a list of 30 ways to celebrate poetry.  Some of them are pretty dumb.  And one is a game called “Exquisite Corpse,” which I’m not sure I want to be a part of.

A Very Confused (and uninvited) Group

So there’s a group called “The League of Canadian Poets.”  And they’re celebrating National Poetry Month by — hey, who invited them?  The Canadians can get their own month, as far as I’m concerned.  National. That means our country, not our continent.  I haven’t seen an invitation to our “friends” from the north; and it’s rude to come to a party uninvited.  ESPECIALLY when you choose your own theme for the month.  And their theme: Climate Changes.  What?!  That’s ridiculous!  All the beautiful things we could write about and celebrate with poetry, and the Canadians choose climate change?  I’m glad Frost, Whitman, Dickinson, and Silverstein didn’t live to see this day.  They would’ve recklessly sprayed aerosol cans while driving their Hummers and Suburbans at higher than the optimal speed for fuel efficiency.  [For the record, National Poetry Month was adopted in the states in 1996.  Canada adopted April as their celebration of rhyming in 1999.  That's the national holiday equivalent of plagiarism.  For another blog post on lack of Canadian creativity, go here.]

And a Special Invitation

I’ve not yet asked him, and so, this blog post will be his formal invitation.  But I’m going to invite my younger brother, Brian, to write a poem for my blog in celebration of (the United States’) National Poetry Month.  The rules are that:

• it can’t be vulgar* (you guys don’t know my brother…).
• it can’t be written in such a way or about such a topic that will get me in trouble with my mission supporters.
• it can’t be about climate change.  [Take that, Canadians.]
• it can’t be sympathetic to the Canadians.  [My brother is definitely a Canadian-Sympathizer, with his rowdy Canadian friends, his love of hockey,* and his phony French accent.]

This will be the first guest post ever on my blog.  I know those of you who have been reading for more than a couple of days are really excited.  The day, should my brother accept my invitation: Sunday, April 18th.

* This is a late edition asterisk, only added after my wife corrected me, saying I shouldn’t               make people believe that my brother is vulgar.  He indeed is not.

** This is another late edition asterisk, added after my brother corrected me, saying he                 prefers the good Canadian sport of curling to hockey.  He did not, however,                         correct me concerning his being vulgar.