Tag Archives: lie

the lie of Jesus?

image courtesy of toptenz

Did Jesus ever tell a lie?

Not too long ago I did a series on Rahab*, which focused on ethics, lying, and possible conflict within the laws of God.  Shawn Smucker (of blogging fame) remembered that series when reading through the Gospel of John, and gave me a heads up on this apparent lie of Jesus from chapter 7.  Below is my own modern-day interpretation of John 7:1-10:

Festival of Shelters was playing Friday night in Judea, so Jesus’ brothers invited him, “Come on, let’s get out of Galilee.  All your followers will be there, and they can see your miracles.  Stop hiding the magic, man.  Let the world see.  Jesus, you’ll be famous!”  [This was said with a lot of sarcasm because at this point not even Jesus' brothers believed he was the Son of God.]

But Jesus said he couldn’t make it.  ”Nah, the timing’s not right.  You guys can go to any concert you want; no one’s trying to kill you.  But everyone hates me because I keep telling them what they’re doing is wrong.  You guys hit this shindig without me.  I’m not going, cats — the timing is off.”  So Jesus stayed in Galilee.

But after his brothers went to the party, Jesus followed… in disguise — because the Jewish leaders were looking to kill him at the concert.

What do you think?  Did Jesus lie?  Or did he just change his mind?  Did he know ahead of time he was going to change his mind?  If he knew ahead of time, is that really changing his mind?  If he lied, we have to assume it was okay, right?  What makes it so?  Ah, the questions are countless….

* You can find the full series on Rahab here:  

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Filed under modern-day retelling, musings on the Word

rahab’s exchange: a cultural argument for lying?

image courtesy of reverendmom

[This post is the fifth in a series.  Others are: "rahab's exchange: the lie," "rahab's exchange: ethical theories," "rahab's exchange: moral absolutism," and "rahab's exchange: an interview with myself."  Rahab lied in order to save the lives of two Israelite spies.  Was she right to do so?  Is it ever right to lie?]


In the culture in which you grew up, there were likely many lies which were always allowed — and even preferred and encouraged.  Lies like:

How are you?
Fine, thank you.

Are you thirsty?  Can I get you a drink?
No, thank you.  I’m fine.
[But the drink would be served anyway -- or the question would be asked again, at which time it was appropriate to say that, indeed, you would like a drink.  In China it is necessary that you refuse the drink three times; the fourth time, though, you are allowed to accept.]

What do you think of my new haircut?
Oh, it looks great. Where did you get it done?
[Note the quick change of subject after the lie.]

Honey, do these jeans make me look fat?
It’s not the jeans, dear.  Denim doesn’t create muffin-tops; it just highlights them.
[Just kidding.  That's not our preferred answer.]

I think the general reasoning for our acceptance of such lies is that we’re trying to be polite or spare the feelings of another individual.  American culture has determined that, in such cases, being courteous is more important than objective truth. And many a Christian, when forced to think through this, is left only to assume that we are all sinning in doing so.

We lack a methodology for understanding why something we feel to be true (we should spare a friend hurt feelings even though her hair is hideous) might indeed be true.  We want the simplicity of a system in which there is no conflict between our various moral dealings.  We want right and wrong to be clear and unambiguous. But this approach doesn’t mesh with our conviction that it’s just wrong to tell a spouse he/she looks fat.

So, when pushed, many believers will offer up, “Yeah, it probably is wrong to be dishonest in those situations.  I shouldn’t lie no matter the reason.”  Then an individuals’ blatant disregard for others’ feelings can be credited to him as honesty righteousness.  Bad manners and a lack of compassion become the ideal for followers of Jesus?

  • Some will say, “Exactly.  We shouldn’t lie no matter what our culture tells us.  Culture shouldn’t interpret morality.”
  • Others will say, “Well, I just feel like we should look at the intent with which we lie in those situations.”

**********

Here in Tanzania, it’s incredibly rude to answer a friend with, “No.”  There is instead always a polite excuse offered.

Let’s say you have a practice of not allowing others to use your vehicle.  No matter how logical your reasoning, if I ask to borrow your car, you should offer a polite excuse.  It won’t do to say, “I’m sorry.  You can’t borrow my car because my wife and I don’t loan it out to anyone.”  Instead you should offer, “Oh, but I think I might be using my car on that day.”  Even if you have every intention of staying at home with your car parked in the garage.*

Or say you’ve had a really long day of work and just need to read a book or sit in silence, and have some “you time” — but someone wants to visit with you — do you say no and try to explain your reasoning?  Of course not; you simply answer, “You know, I’m really busy with some work issues this evening.”**

But here’s the catch:  When you offer one of these excuses, your friend knows this is not a real reason, but rather a polite device employed to spare his feelings and safeguard your relationship.

If you were to simply say “no,” he would be left to wonder why you no longer want a relationship with him.  Why would you be so incredibly rude to say no, when you easily could have made up any number of small lies to spare his feelings and keep your relationship intact?

Truth and accuracy are not held in nearly as high regard as relationship and civility.

I am becoming more comfortable with this system of choosing relationship over accuracy.  I’m not saying it’s right.  But that’s much of the reason I’ve lately been studying ethics and the Rahab story.

I mentioned earlier the two most likely responses:

  1. We should not lie no matter what culture tells us.  Culture can’t interpret morality.
  2. We should take into account the intent of a given lie.  Was it to be polite?  Then we’ll let it go.

I don’t necessarily buy either of these arguments.  Human morality can’t exist outside of culture, and determining morality by intent alone is suspect in my opinion.  [Of course I've made it clear in past posts that I believe there to be a graded hierarchy of moral laws, which should be utilized in these situations.  But...]  I wonder if my own argument in these situations might be much simpler.  It probably looks something like this:

  • A lie which everyone knows to be a lie, is not a lie.

Perhaps it’s not a question of whether or not it’s right to lie in these situations.  It might be that these words are indeed not lies.  What do you guys think?  Farewell, Brett Harrison?

[Next post -- rahab's exchange: a story of true faith]

* Obviously we can use our creativity to think through ways of dealing with these situations without lying.  I often try to employ humor in these situations.  Though, clearly I am still not telling the truth, which is that I simply will not allow you to borrow my car… whether it be for reasons of insurance, legal issues, or a general lack of safety.
** We won’t get into the many problems with viewing any time as being your own private and personal time — valuing self over community.

P.S. — If you’re interested further in the topics of “dishonesty” in African culture, see of marathons and misinformation: a lesson in tanzanian communication and missionary predicaments: hospitality and rest.

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Filed under culture, exchanges, living in africa

rahab’s exchange: an interview with myself

image courtesy of reverendmom

[This post is the fourth in a series.  Others are: "rahab's exchange: the lie," "rahab's exchange: ethical theories," and "rahab's exchange: moral absolutism"  Rahab lied in order to save the lives of two Israelite spies.  Was she right to do so?  Is it ever right to lie?]


I’ve argued that the most sensible system of ethics is deontological ethics, in which there exist moral laws to which all humanity are obligated to obey.  I believe those moral laws originate in the person and nature of God. I’ve also offered graded absolutism as the most logical (and useful) subset within the deontological framework.  The graded absolutist (that’s me) holds that God’s laws do, at times, conflict with one another.  The duty of the believer, then, is to be obedient to the weightier of those two laws.  In doing so, the Christian does not sin.

But there are some obvious questions to be asked.  And because I’m not popular enough to be interviewed by anyone else, I’ve volunteered myself to do the job:


Brett, are there any actual scripture references that support your arguments for graded absolutism?  Or is this all just an exercise in logic and imagination?

There are several verses, I believe, that attest to the existence of weightier commands.  Here are a few:

  • Matthew 22:36 – Jesus demonstrates that there is a “greatest commandment,” and even a “second” that is like it.  So there certainly is present some hierarchy of moral commands — of which the chiefest is to love God with all of our being.
  • Matthew 10:37 – Loving Jesus is more important than loving our fathers, mothers, and family.
  • Matthew 23:23 – The scribes and Pharisees tithe even their spices, but they’ve neglected “the weightier matters of the law:  justice and mercy and faith.”
  • Matthew 5:19 – Jesus states that there do exist lesser commandments.
  • 1 Corinthians 6:18 – Sexual sins (committed inside the body) are somehow worse than other sins.
  • 2 Corinthians 5:21 – God punished and killed an innocent human being in order to save us.  This was an injustice — as we ourselves are incredibly deserving of punishment and death, and Jesus was not.  God’s plan of salvation itself is immoral if there is no graded absolutism.

You made the outrageous claim yesterday that graded absolutism is “demonstrated in scripture a number of times.”  Can you cite a few of those instances for us?  And don’t use the Apocrypha — very few of us are Catholics.

Sure.  I’d be happy to:

  • Acts 5:29 – Peter and the apostles have broken the commands of the authorities in order to teach the gospel.  There was a clear conflict between obedience to God (proclaiming the gospel) and obedience to civil authorities.  Their answer: “We must obey God rather than any human authority.” [The commands to obey civil authorities can be found in Romans 13 and 1 Peter 2.]
  • Acts 4:18-19 – Peter and John in nearly the exact same scenario.
  • Daniel 3 – Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego refuse to worship the golden statue even though they were commanded to do so by the king himself.
  • Daniel 6 – Daniel continues to pray to God three times a day, despite the fact that this was illegal.
  • Luke 2:41-52 – Boy Jesus chooses submission to God over submission to his parents.
  • Matthew 12:1-8 – Jesus and the disciples pick and eat grain on the sabbath.  He then relates the story of David having eaten the bread of the Presence (1 Samuel 21) when to do so was unlawful.
  • Matthew 12:9-14 – Jesus heals on the sabbath.

And these are more circumstantial — and may not fit our context exactly, but they’re at least worth looking at:

  • Joshua 2, 6; Hebrews 11:31; James 2:24-25 – This is where the series all began.  Rahab lies to save the lives of two Israelite spies.  Her faith is commended in the Hebrews text, and her actions (of receiving the spies) are endorsed in James.  Nowhere is it stated explicitly that Rahab’s lie was approved by God or good.
  • Exodus 1:15-22 – The king of Egypt commanded the Hebrew midwives to immediately kill every Hebrew-born male.  The midwives, though, “feared God and did not do as the king of Egypt commanded them.”  Instead they lied and said that the Hebrew women were strong and healthy and always deliver before the midwife can even arrive.  ”So God dealt well with the midwives… and because [they] feared God, he gave them families.”  This story doesn’t come out and say, “God approved of these lies.”  But it very nearly does.
  • 1 Samuel 16 – Samuel was commanded to go and anoint one of Jesse’s sons to be the next king.  In order to be allowed to enter without being killed by Saul, though, he is told by God to tell what we might consider a “little white lie” — that he has come peacably, to sacrifice to the Lord.  This isn’t a straight out-and-out lie, but surely we’d agree there is some dishonesty and deceit present.
  • Let’s don’t even start the conversation about all the instances in which killing another human being was approved of — or even commanded — by God.  [No, seriously, let's don't start that conversation...]

Aren’t you afraid that, if we adopt graded absolutism as our theory of ethics, people will only use it to justify sin?  A fellow could argue that he lied to his wife, because he didn’t want to hurt her.  Or that he only stole food in order to feed his hungry family.

I suppose I’m not very afraid of that.  Any system of ethics is going to be abused; that’s what people do. They sin, they break rules, and they act selfishly (and foolishly).  Are we seriously considering throwing out a valid understanding of scripture and morality because we’re afraid people will abuse it?  Why not throw out mercy and grace while we’re at it — people abuse those?!  [Actually, some of us have attempted to throw these out...]

So you’re telling us you believe God is so imperfect that he was forced to create laws that would conflict with one another?  If God’s perfect laws are in conflict with one another, then his nature itself is necessarily in conflict.

This argument doesn’t make any sense.  If conflict within laws created by God necessitates conflict in the nature of God, then sin in a world created by God necessitates sin in the nature of God. We live in a fallen world; things happen.  In a perfect world, these laws wouldn’t be in conflict.  If my parents didn’t sin in commanding me not to worship God, I wouldn’t be forced to choose between obedience to God or my parents.  But sin breeds conflict.  And Christians are not exempt from conflict.  We are not immune to hard choices.

Are there any examples of Jesus having faced any of these moral dilemmas in his life?

Honestly, I’m not sure; but I think so.  I mentioned above the story of boy Jesus remaining in the temple when he was supposed to be with his parents in the caravan to Nazareth.  He caused them great concern and anxiety, and his only answer was, “Didn’t you know I had to be about my Father’s business.”  I’m not sure that story is itself a great argument.  But it leans that direction.

It would probably be more productive to look at any of the number of times Jesus argued for mercy in the place of justice.  We know that mercy and justice were both considered by Christ to be “weightier matters of the law.”  But when the two conflicted with one another (the woman caught in adultery or Jesus’ own crucifixion despite his innocence), Jesus forewent justice in favor of mercy.  He spared the adulterous woman, and he chose to die to save the world.  Mercy over justice.

Do you really believe dinosaurs roamed the face of the earth in Old Testament times?

Uhm… yes?  But I don’t see how this is pertinent to our discussion.

Yeah, I was just wondering…

Next post: a cultural argument for lying.

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rahab’s exchange: ethical theories

image courtesy of reverendmom
[Continued from rahab's exchange: the lie]


Rahab lied to the king’s men in order to save the lives of two Israelite spies.  We find her faith commended in Hebrews and her actions applauded in James — though neither writer explicitly states that Rahab was correct to lie.

Is it ever right to lie? Do we ever find ourselves in situations in which we’re forced to choose between two evils?  Or between two sins?  How do we make sense of situations like these?

Now we’re firmly in the realm of ethics.  I’m no expert, but I’m going to offer the three most accepted options — and dispose of the first two:

1.  Utilitarianism

The moral value of an action is based on happiness and pleasure for the largest number of people. While vastly popular today — and the underlying theme of many an action-suspense thriller – utilitarianism denies the presence of absolute good or evil.  Rather, the nebulous “greater happiness” is considered (and often referred to as the “greater good”).

My problems with utilitarianism (aka consequentialism) are many.  In the first place, it would seem quite difficult to calculate and quantify “happiness.”  I also have serious problems with the idea that a majority is allowed to simply decide what is right and wrong based on what they happen to enjoy.  Utilitarianism also ignores the individual’s motive and intention, and places all importance on an outcome which (in most situations) could never have been known.

  • If an affair between a married woman and a single man brings the two great happiness — and only the one husband is hurt — they have done the right thing.  But if the married couple has two children, what they’ve done suddenly becomes wrong.
  • If a very large nation can grow its economy and bring great happiness to its citizens by conquering a smaller country and using its inhabitants as slaves,  this is good, fair, and right by utilitarianism.

[One note of interest, pointed out to me yesterday by Teammate Carson, is that the first example above is generally accepted to be true in modern America -- even among Christians.  Then the evil done is attributed to God himself, with cries of,  "But I'm certain God wants me to be happy."]

2. Virtue Ethics

The emphasis here is not placed on results or actions, but rather on virtues.  In virtue ethics, there are particular character traits that are viewed as inherently good or evil, and morals are determined based on “being” rather than “doing.” While I appreciate the question practitioners are forced to ask — “What kind of person should I be?” — I believe virtue ethics falls short as a complete ethical theory.

First, virtue ethics gives no clear guidance as to how to act in a specific situation.  This doesn’t seem useful to me as far as ethics go.  Is courage more important than compassion today and in this place?  What if our cultures disagree as to whether pride or humility is the higher virtue?  What about virtues that change over time within a given culture; is a woman to be reserved, submissive, and modest — or outgoing, independent, and self-assured?

More problematic, though, is that, in order for virtue ethics to be a complete ethical theory, it requires the use of another theory; it cannot stand on its own. Virtue ethics (like utilitarianism) requires that there be no absolute rules — yet there are believed to be absolute virtues.  There is no absolute rule concerning telling lies, yet honesty is revered as a virtue.  That makes no sense.

I believe virtue ethics to be useful, but only because there do exist underlying rules which are absolute.  Virtue ethics has no way of determining what are and are not virtues without an underlying theory of absolute rules. I am of the mindset that, at their core, virtue ethics and deontological ethics (see below) are quite similar — and make a useful theory when viewed side by side.  However, I would argue that “doing” is what creates “being,” and such should be acknowledged.


The ethical theory which I find most compelling is this one:

3. Deontological Ethics

There exist moral rules, and it is our duty or obligation to adhere to these rules.  There is an intrinsic good, and we are obligated to act in accordance with this good. Our motivations, then, are taken into account and are more important than the consequences themselves (which can rarely be known in full).

Deontological ethics differs from utilitarianism in that a right action might not bring happiness to the greatest number of people (happiness is not deemed to be intrinsically good, as it is possible for humanity to derive happiness from that which is actually evil — see Roman gladiator entertainment).  An action may very well be right and good because the individual acted in accordance with moral rules, fulfilling his obligation to do what was right — even if the result was lessened happiness for many.

In most deontological systems, these moral rules, duties, and obligations are determined by a higher being, and doing what is right is a matter of obedience to that being. I would argue that God has determined what is right and wrong based on his own nature.  And that, when we are obedient to him, our nature becomes more like his.

There is a strong correlation here, in my mind, between deontological ethics and virtue ethics. I might argue that God’s virtues are what we seek to embody, and that we do this based on a God-given system of moral rules.  The more obedient we are, the more virtuous we become. So I see these two theories as a sort of puzzle… of the “which-came-first-the-chicken-or-the-egg” type.

I believe the virtues came first (in the nature of God), but that these virtues are incapable of guiding our everyday decision-making processes until we actually possess them.  I am able to embody these virtues, though, through continued obedience to moral rules and by the transformation of the Holy Spirit in my life. Over time I actually become an honest person, rather than an individual who merely follows the rules of honesty.  The rules are necessary, but the importance of the ethical system begins to diminish as I am transformed to be more like God.  [One of my major problems with virtue-based ethics theories is that if I don't possess a particular virtue, it is impossible for me to act in keeping with that virtue without first extrapolating (a) rule(s) from that virtue.]

As with any ethical theory, there are problems with deontological ethics. Many.  For instance, what do we do when we are faced with a situation such as Rahab’s?  There is a moral rule not to lie.  But it conflicts with the moral rule to revere and save lives.  Many would at that point choose the “lesser evil.”  And they would then be employing utilitarianism (or something like it) to determine what is right (or less wrong).  Also, was Jesus ever faced with a situation in which he had to choose the “lesser evil?”  And yet he remained sinless?

In my next post, I intend to divide deontological ethics into three categories. And, of course, I’ve chosen to support one of these three sub-theories.

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Filed under exchanges, obedience

rahab’s exchange: the lie

image courtesy of reverendmom

 

Rahab was a woman accustomed to exchanges. First it was sex for money.  Later it was her Canaanite nationality for an Israelite identity.  In the middle, though — and where we’ll focus our time — she exchanged a lie for the lives of two spies.

Here’s the scenario in brief:

Joshua’s just been commissioned by God to lead the Israelites into the promised land.  He sends a couple of spies to case the land, and especially the city of Jericho.  They head to a prostitute’s house; her name is Rahab.  Somehow the king of Jericho gets wind of the two Israelites staying at Rahab’s place and sends his thugs to rough them up a bit (or to knock them off, rather).  Rahab admits that, yes, the spies did come to her house, but they left late in the afternoon and she doesn’t know where they were going — other than out the city gate.  If the henchmen leave quickly, they might catch them.

What actually happened, though, was that Rahab hid the spies on her roof under some of that season’s harvest.  And lied to the king’s men. After saving the lives of the two reconnaissance officers, she made a deal with them:  As a result, when the Israelites took the city of Jericho, she and her family were spared.  [More on that deal in a future post.]

The Hebrew writer memorialized Miss Rahab in 11:31 of his book:

By faith the prostitute Rahab, because she welcomed the spies, was not killed with those who were disobedient.

James was rather fond of the prostitute as well (2:24-25):

You see that a person is justified by what he does and not by faith alone.  In the same way, was not even Rahab the prostitute considered righteous for what she did when she gave lodging to the spies and sent them off in a different direction?

It turns out that Rahab was even the great great grandmother of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  (Matthew 1:5)

So here’s the big question?  Was Rahab right to offer a lie in exchange for the lives of these two spies? She’s clearly commended for her faith by the Hebrew writer.  And she’s certainly praised by James for the actions resulting from her faith.  But neither writer explicitly states that she was right to lie in this situation.

We know from scripture that lying is a sin (I won’t waste our time listing all those verses).  But is it ever right to do so? Was Rahab right to do so?  If not, what should have been her response?

Or perhaps the deeper question… are we sometimes expected (or forced) to choose between the lesser of two evils? Or, in these situations, does one of these “evils” cease to actually be evil — and instead become good?

I’m throwing the questions out there today and in my next post will share my thoughts on the subject — as well as some of the snobby theologian lingo used to describe it.  I also intend to explain why this subject has been of particular interest to me of late.

 

For other posts in this series on famous exchanges in the Bible, see:
adam and eve’s exchange
jacob and esau’s exchange

 

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missionary predicament: hospitality and rest


How important is rest?  Do missionaries and development workers deserve time off?  Who decides when we get to relax?  Is it okay to lie in certain situations… if it’s expected?

[This post is one installment of a somewhat (okay, extremely) irregular feature called Missionary Predicaments.  Occasionally I attempt to explain some recent (or ongoing) dilemma having to do with being a missionary and development worker in Tanzania.  And then I ask what you think the proper Christian missionary response would be.  Then I do whatever you said.  Well… maybe not.  But I do welcome all advice — especially if you’re over 50 years old and have grey hair.]


Situation

You and your wife have worked eight days straight and really need a break.  You want to sit in your house and watch a few episodes of West Wing without making dinner for anyone, chatting with neighbors, or answering questions about job opportunities within your “organization.”  Just as you sit down with homemade tortilla chips and glasses of sent-from-America Crystal Light, there’s a knock at the gate and a loud “hodi,” followed by a continuous and steady string of “hodi”s.*  It’s an acquaintance of yours, a local pastor from a church down the road, and you’re sure he’s come just to sit and chat for a bit (an hourish) on the front porch — which requires that your wife make chai, and neither of you watch West Wing until later or, more likely, another day.  What do you do?

Background and Culture

  • Visitors are extremely important in Tanzanian culture.  It is always an honor to have a guest.
  • Therefore, it is important to be a good and hospitable host.  A female in the house should at least make tea, and probably provide a snack of some sort, as the men sit and talk together.
  • When something is an inconvenience to a Tanzanian, he is expected to lie.  It is extremely rude to tell someone, “no.”  But it’s perfectly acceptable to say, “I have a lot of work to do today,” even if it is untrue — even if the person with whom you’re speaking knows it to be untrue.  Someone asks to borrow your expensive camera or, better yet, asks if they can have it.  If you tell them “no,” you’ve insulted them.  They walk away with a hurt (or broken) relationship, mumbling about how you could have at least spared them the indignity by answering, “Maybe another day,” or “Well, my wife really needs to use it tonight.”

Factors to Consider

  • It’s unlikely you and your family will ever have more than 3 or 4 uninterrupted hours in your house.  And it’s nearly impossible to predict (or guess) when those times will be.  People show up at all hours of the day.
  • The pastor has already seen you through the windows of your house (as you’ve only lived there a relatively short time and don’t have curtains yet — water and electricity took precedence).  So pretending you’re not home is not an option — not that you would have done that anyway.  Just saying….
  • This is starting to become a trend:  planning a time to relax and having it interrupted.
  • It’s not that talking with this pastor is extremely difficult or belaboring (it’s getting much easier for you to talk for an uninterrupted hour in Swahili, though your brain is a little tired afterward).  It’s more that you’ve been looking forward to this break — and believe it will actually help you, your ministry to others, and your marriage if you enjoy a little downtime.
  • It’s not just an inconvenience to you, though.  Your wife also is expected to serve tea and maybe snacks.  Keep in mind, there are no bags of chips or cookies in your pantry.  And if there are, they either came from the states or were very expensive — and probably wouldn’t taste good to your pastor friend anyway.  That means whipping up some chapatis or thawing out some of your homemade bread to serve with jam and butter.
  • Back in the states, you might have just explained to your friend that you and the wife really need some time together, and had planned for that time to be now.  You’ve been busy and need a break.  And your friend would have understood.  Of course he probably also would’ve called before walking the mile-and-a-half to your house.  Okay, he never would have walked to your house.
  • This visitor has just walked 1 1/2 miles to your house.
  • [Editor's note -- added after initial publishing for clarification] Explaining that you need rest, this is your day off, or you’re wanting to spend time with your family are not acceptable reasons for turning away guests.  Work, sickness, having other guests, or even preparing for other guests would, however, be acceptable.
  • You’re trying to live into the culture of Tanzania, and want to provide as few barriers to the gospel as possible.  But you’re just not sure lying is the right thing to do — even though it’s culturally acceptable.
  • You realize lying is also at times culturally acceptable in your home culture — even among Christians:
    • “Girlfriend, your hair looks good.  You rock that mohawk!”
    • “Oh, I’m fine, doing just great — and you?”
    • “Your baby is so cute.  [She doesn't look at all like an alien lizard.]“
    • “I can’t tell you’ve gained a pound.”
    • “It’s not you — it’s me.”
    • “I just don’t want to ruin the great friendship we have.”
    • “What dinosaur?  I don’t see a dinosaur.”
  • You probably should be thinking about what to do in this specific situation, but also how you will deal with all of this for the next eightish years.  Can you say the same thing you say today every time this happens?  Should you find a different place to relax?  What about when you get even busier with agriculture development and church planting?  What then?

What would you do?  In the short term?  In the long term?  How important is rest?  Time with family?  How do we create and protect these moments?  [I'll share with you in an upcoming post what we've decided to do.]


* Hodi = Swahili word that announces the presence of a visitor at a door or gate.  I’m guessing this practice developed over the knock because of the general lack of doors on which one could knock.  And a single “hodi” will not, under any circumstance, suffice.  The visitor is required to “hodi” constantly until the door is opened or (in some cases) someone from inside answers with “nakuja,” a familiar way of saying, “I’m coming.”  However, one must continue yelling “nakuja” until one has actually opened the door, lest the “hodi”ing begin again.  It seems the general rule is that there can be no time of quiet, however brief, between the arrival of a visitor and the actual opening of the door.  I’ve on several occasions thought about doing the same sort of thing while waiting for my food at a restaurant or while waiting to be helped at the hardware store — constantly repeating my order until I actually have the item in my hand.  It truly is sad that a word announcing a guest (something which is quite an honor in this context) can come to mean about the same thing as nails screeching on a chalkboard.


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