spiderwebs

image courtesy of blog.trendmicro.com

 

I run on a lot of trails.  And these trails are apparently home to lots of spiders.  I know this because I’m constantly running through their webs.

I have somewhat conflicting opinions of spiderwebs.  On one hand, it’s really annoying to have spiderwebs in your face.*  But on the other hand, every spiderweb I accidentally swallow reminds me that, on this day, I’m the first person to make it to the top of the mountain I’m climbing.**

* Though it’s really funny to watch others run into spiderwebs, because they do this very particular little dance.  And since no one can actually see a spiderweb from any distance, it looks like the guy’s jerking his body around in spastic and convulsion-like movements just for the heck of it.

** Or at least I’m the tallest person to reach the top of the mountain at that point in the day….

injustice in the ncaa: cam newton

image courtesy of trackemtigers.com

[*If you generally skip my posts concerning sports, this one is also about Christianity, slavery, and drawing and quartering people.  Come on, give just this one sports post a shot.]

Okay, I’ll admit it.  All this Cam Newton stuff has got me really riled up. You know when one character in a movie realizes something nobody else knows, and they try to explain it but no one believes them, and you just want to yell at the screen for them to listen to the guy, because he knows what he’s talking about?  That’s how I feel.  I don’t believe I’m smarter than everyone else (or anyone else) — that’s not my deal.  I just can’t seem to find anyone willing to think through this in logical fashion.  At least no one willing to offer me acceptable or reasonable answers.

I’ve posted on some comment boards, asking some of the very questions I asked in my last post.  Basically I’m wanting to know:

Why do so many of us support the punishment of innocent people in the area of college football recruitment?

Do we really think it’s fair to end the academic and athletic career of a student athlete whose greedy relative tried, unbeknownst to the player, to shop him around for money?

So far, I’ve received three types of answers:

1. We have to be consistent.  In the past we’ve punished some players for the sins of their relatives.  We can’t just change our minds now.  We’ve always done it this way.
2. We need to be extremely strict on this, so as to deter it from happening in the future.  We punish the player regardless of his involvement or knowledge of the wrongdoing because that will teach other students’ parents not to do this.
3. Are you an idiot?!  You must be, because everyone in the whole world has met and discussed this and we all agree except for you.  The NCAA agrees with us, as do most of the conference officials and university presidents.  We punish Cam Newton and others like him simply because most of us think we should — especially those really important people.

I don’t know about you, but I believe all three of these reasons to be full of crap.  Get this — using these same three arguments, I’ll offer some other suggestions that must be good, right, and logical:

1. Slavery is good. Really, we should keep this whole people-as-property thing going.  Why rid ourselves of a perfectly good system?  I mean we’ve always done it this way.
2. Henceforth, from this point on, we will draw-and-quarter any student athlete whose parent or other relative has inquired at any university concerning a pay-for-play plan.  Then we will send the four portions of his lifeless body to the four corners of these United States.  We will teach parents that they can’t do this sort of thing.  We’ve just got to hit them where it hurts. Slaughter their children.
3. Let’s keep the current BCS system forever; it’s so awesome and all the officials and school presidents like it so much already. Forget a playoff, everybody — computers and polls are where it’s at.

And just for the sake of pushing a little further, let me try this all again but with Christianity as my subject of choice:

1. Well, we’ve always met in a building with a steeple and a lot of pews that all face the front. And you want us to consider meeting in someone’s home now?  Where will the preacher put his pulpit?  And do we really have the funds to buy songbooks for everyone to keep at home?  How in the world will we know if everyone’s following our required order of worship (welcome – 2 songs – opening prayer – 2 songs – scripture reading – 1 song – communion – giving – 1 song and mark another in your songbooks – sermon – invitation song (previously marked) – elder speaks for a moment – song – closing prayer)?
2. All forms of dancing are wrong and evil.  Males and females cannot and should not swim together or near enough to one another to be seen while in bathing suits.  Any alcohol is sin, and Harry Potter is Satan incarnate.  Anyone involved in any of these activities — or who knows someone who is — will be shunned, gossiped about, and possibly disfellowshipped or excommunicated.
3. Are you kidding?!  Everyone knows the way to reach out to the lost is to have an awesome band on Sunday morning and a knock-off Starbucks coffee shop in what used to be the foyer (we now call it the cafe).  Yeah, all the biggest churches are doing it, and all the biggest Christian authors are writing about it….

Someone please offer me a better reason for punishing an innocent student athlete for the sins of his father.

change

He who rejects change is the architect of decay.
The only human institution which rejects progress is the cemetery.
– Harold Wilson

Following is a list of areas in which I enjoy change — and about how often:

• my hairstyle  –  every couple of months (pretty sure I’m shaving it bald for New Year’s)
• my beardstyle  –  every couple of months (currently growing it out long again… it’s “No-shave November,” you know?)
• my wife’s level of attraction to me (I don’t actually enjoy this, but a bald-headed Brett with a big mountain man beard can’t help me any in the looks department; that’s for sure.)
• my shirt  –  every day
• my jeans  –  every 3 or 4 days
• music  –  several times a day
• food  –  I can eat leftovers 2 or 3 times before getting tired of them.  But that’s it.  [And I do not enjoy eating Tanzanian food every day.]
• adventure   —  I like to do something adventurous about once a month or so.  I get bored easily.
• exercise  –  Running is great, but not every day.  Give me a bike, a weight room, or a rock climbing wall occasionally, please.
• my daily routine — Please don’t ask me to do the same thing all day every day.
• diapers — I like for them to be changed.  I just don’t like to be the changer.  Or the changee, for that matter.

It is not necessary to change.  Survival is not mandatory.
– W. Edwards Deming

Following is a list of areas in which I do not like change:

• my morning routine  –  I “need” to wake up early, study my Bible, read, write, run (or bike, etc), and pray.
• my morning coffee  –  I “need” at least four cups of coffee every morning.
• money  –  For the most part I don’t like change.  I think we should get rid of pennies.  Round up or down; I don’t care.  Nickels probably aren’t worth keeping either.  But a dollar coin… that I could go for.
• my name  –  I would be incredibly confused if my name were different every day….

Change is inevitable – except from a vending machine.
– Robert C. Gallagher

Following is a list of areas in which I don’t care about change, but my wife seems to:

• bed sheets and pillowcases

Change has been on my mind lately because WordPress is forcing all of us who were using the “PressRow” theme to switch to another.  ”Pilcrow” is really close to what I had — I’ve already gone live with it — but I’m sure there are some slight differences here and there, where column and font sizes shifted just a bit.  I think I’ve got it looking right again, but let me know if you see any problems on the site anywhere.  Actually if you’ve got any suggestions at all for the blog, please offer them. I figure as long as I’m making changes, I might as well embrace the idea.

stranded

image courtesy of howtobuyaprivateisland.com

Stranded on a deserted island, you’re allowed to have with you five tangible objects.  What do you take?

Or similarly… you’re permitted to choose three people, dead or living, with whom you’ll be abandoned on said island.  [Of course, dead or living, they'd be alive on this hypothetical island; I only mean to say that you can choose someone from the past if you like.]  Whom do you select?

Before you start thinking deeply about the above questions, let me say this:  I don’t really care what five objects you’d take, or with whom you’d like to be stranded on a deserted island.  Not that your answers wouldn’t prove entertaining — and I’d be more than happy to read them.  I’m only saying that hearing your answers is not the point.  And neither is upping my blog’s comment totals with (mostly) meaningless jabber about your Bible, pocketknife, battery-operated fruit juicer, and Barack Obama.

Really, what I was thinking is this:  We deliberate an awful lot about being stranded on deserted islands for it to have never happened to any of us.  And you can’t really argue that we’re preparing for such events, because not one of us has vowed to carry a fruit juicer and a copy of To Kill a Mockingbird on flights across the Atlantic.

I think our fascination with these lists is really a subconscious desire to simplify our lives.  We know we’ve got way too much stuff, and deep down we enjoy the process of determining what’s actually important in life. I suppose we especially appreciate the fact that we can do all this simplification within the framework of theoretical, make-believe, and incredibly far-fetched scenarios — because this means we never actually have to give up our designer clothes, Facebook, and reality television (all of which I assume no one would include in their list).

Why do you think we like these types of questions so much?  And obviously you’re more than welcome to answer the questions if you’d like.

I didn’t realize it until searching my files for a photo, but I’ve actually mentioned this thought once before, as a bullet point in this post.  While I suppose I’ve developed the idea a bit since then, I apologize to those of you who actually remembered that other blog post and are disappointed in my lack of creativity.

whatever happened to being sorry?

“remorse”  - oil on canvas by peter lloyd (to purchase or browse, view his gallery)

 

Whatever happened to being sorry for what you’ve done?

Remorse, regret, responsibility, and repentance…

have been exchanged for excuses, explanations, exemptions, and exonerations.

• “Well, I didn’t mean it that way.  So I’m sorry if that’s how you took it.”
• “I hate that you were hurt by what I did.”  [Not "I hate what I did."]
• “Well, that’s just the way I am.  I can’t help it.”
• “I really had no choice in the matter.”
• “I think it all goes back to my upbringing.  My parents weren’t around and…”
• “Hey, who are you to judge me?!  The Bible says not to judge.”
• “Well, maybe it would be wrong for you, but it’s not for me.  My conscience is clean.”
• “Everyone else does it.”
• “It was only a small lie.”
• “Seriously, you’re going to hold me responsible for that.  I was drunk!”

Garrison Keillor writes (in jest):

In 1976, a major Protestant denomination narrowly defeated an attempt to destigmatize the Prayer of Confession by removing from it all guilt or guilt-oriented references:  “Lord, we approach Thy Throne of Grace, having committed acts which, we do heartily acknowledge, must be very difficult for Thee to understand.  Nevertheless, we do beseech Thee to postpone judgment and to give Thy faithful servants the benefit of the doubt until such time as we are able to answer all Thy questions fully and clear our reputations in Heaven.”

The apostle Paul writes (not in jest):

Even if the things I said made you sad, I don’t regret them.  It was really difficult to see you hurt like that, but because was your sadness was short-lived, I know it was for the better.  I’m really happy now — not because you were heartbroken — but because your sorrow prompted you to change your lives.  That’s because you were sorry just as God intended.  Godly sorrow brings a change in your heart, mind, and actions; and this is the path to salvation and true life.  Worldly sorrow, on the other hand, leads to depression and, eventually, death.  – 2 Corinthians 7:8-10 (my paraphrase)

And I write (not sure whether in jest or not):

I’m not sure Christianity the way we’ve done it is going to work anymore.

A few thoughts:

• As Christians, I don’t believe it’s within our job description — or within our power — to change the worldview of a nation.  So we ought not complain about the loss of remorse in modern-day America.  Rather we should focus on this next point….
• While we can’t put a stop to postmodernity, the loss of remorse in the church is a completely different story.  There is a sorrow that is Godly.  And without it, I fear we cannot have salvation. Some of us are just playing games.
• We also might do well to consider another way of first presenting the gospel to non-Christians in our communities.  I don’t know for how much longer the old “you-have-guilt-and-need-to-be-forgiven-through-the-blood-of-Jesus-Christ” thing is going to work as an introduction.  [I'd argue it probably already isn't.]  Perhaps we should think about some other portion of the good news with which to begin.  It just doesn’t make sense for us to have to convince people of their guilt, so that we can sell them our religion.  I wouldn’t say this if I didn’t know for sure that there exists a whole lot more good news than the forgiveness of sins spiel alone.  [For my idea of a more complete definition of the gospel, see this post and those preceding it: the full and complete gospel.]

What do you think?

beauty and the beast — plus a rat

the beauty

baylor doing what she does best: climbing

something about the color of her eyes and colorado skies

and one of my top 3 favorite photos of my daughter and i

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lsu and a pact with you-know-who…

Big game this week for my Auburn Tigers.  I’m nervous for several reasons:

1. Auburn’s had way too many close games, and at this rate we’re bound to drop one some time.
2. LSU’s got a great defense — 3rd in the nation, I believe.
3. Les Miles is really lucky.  Some say he’s even got an agreement with the dark lord.  Of course I know a guy in Mississippi who claims Mr. Miles is himself the great accuser.

Everett: Well, there are all manner of lesser imps and demons, Pete, but the great Satan hisself is red and scaly with a bifurcated tail, and he carries a hay fork.

Tommy Johnson: Oh, no. No, sir. He’s white, as white as you folks, with empty eyes and big hollow quotes. He loves to travel around with a mean old hat. That’s right.

My Thoughts: The press keeps talking about how LSU is going to show Auburn a defense the likes of which they’ve not yet seen this season.  True.  But why is no one talking about how Auburn is going to show LSU an offense like they’ve not yet seen this season… or last season?  I mean, against whom was this #3 defensive ranking earned?  Tennessee, Vanderbilt, and McNeese State?  [That was not sarcasm.  Those really are the teams.  Oh, and North Carolina hung 24 on this defense -- with probably half their starters out on suspension.  And I'm reading that Auburn can't put up 35?!]

My Predictions: Lee and Jefferson combine for at least 2 interceptions, 3 sacks, and a fumble.  Patrick Peterson will look really good for LSU, but won’t overcome an offense that’s too strong, led by the best quarterback in the nation.  Auburn not only will win, but (in a single game) will knock LSU out of the top 5 (maybe 10) defenses in the country.  Auburn will have at least 400 yards on offense and 5 touchdowns.  I’ll allow that LSU’s defense is talented enough to choose whether those touchdowns are running or throwing — but touchdowns they will be.  Auburn plays its first complete game this weekend. Auburn 41, LSU 24.

Oh, and this week the LSU Tigers are ranked #6 in the AP, #6 in the Coaches’, and #6 by the BCS.  Yeah.

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the rat who hitched from dar to geita…

So this little fella’ got in our truck at some point towards the end of our time in Dar es Salaam.  We suspected there had been an animal in the vehicle when one morning Baylor’s sippy cup had been chewed to near non-recognition.  But we didn’t know he was still in the truck until (after being home in Geita for a day) I opened the glove compartment and stuck my hand in to find a map… and nearly had it gnawed off by what I thought was the first squirrel I’d seen since leaving the states.  One handy dandy trap from our local market, set with peanut butter and a raisin, did the trick.

[I put my shoe in the photo to give you an idea of the size of this joker.  By the way, for those of you interested in the barefoot / minimalist shoe movement, that's the shoe I ran my last two half-marathons in (well, one shoe of a pair.]

a scored and certified size 12 1/2 rat (counting the tail)

a dangerous transportation

Eight people died in Geita yesterday.  The bus driver involved wanted to pass a taxi while the two were going around a slight curve.  But the taxi driver, seeing a large truck approaching, signaled it was unsafe for the bus to pass.  The bus driver, like many bus drivers in Tanzania, paid no attention to the signal.  Caught in the truck’s lane with nowhere else to go, the bus driver swerved back into his lane crashing into the taxi and causing them both to go off the side of the road.  Both the taxi and the bus rolled.  All three passengers in the taxi died, and five of those in the bus did as well.

Christie and I were on the way back to Geita and met this very same bus — after it had been set upright and worked on enough to make the return trip to Mwanza.

a very dangerous transportation -- the tanzanian bus system

This sort of thing is commonplace in Tanzania.  I often see buses which have toppled over on their sides, killing several people.  Christie and I tend to drive our own vehicle most places….

simplicity and deserted islands

It’s Saturday, and there’s a lot on my mind — but nothing I want to write about in detail.  So here are a few of my current ponderings, in short:

• One of my pet peeves is when people travel to Africa (or elsewhere), see poverty, and then return to the states to tell everyone how content and happy the poor Africans are who live in mud huts.  Here’s the deal:  fallen people are fallen people.  And they want stuff.  The guy who lives in a small mud hut wants a bigger one, and the guy with a thatch roof wants a metal one.  If you find true contentment, it’s because of Christ — not poverty.
• That said, there are indeed blessings that come with simplicity.  I am experiencing them every day while here in Tanzania.
• You know how we like to ask and answer questions about what we’d take with us if stranded on a deserted island?  Yeah, I think that’s not actually about being prepared for the situation, as few of us carry around swiss army knives, bibles, and David Beckham everywhere we go.  Rather, I wonder if our interest in making these lists is really a subconscious desire to simplify our lives? We know we have too much stuff, and somehow our minds enjoy the process of determining what’s actually important?
• The difference between a hotel and a motel is hallways versus parking outside your room.  I remember it by thinking halls = hotel, and motor vehicles = motel.
• When the World Trade Center was destroyed, I was at a coffee shop in Wuhan, China.  It was about 10 or so at night, and we saw what we thought was a movie on television — until some Chinese who were present started apologizing to us.  We went home and got on the internet to see what all this was about.  The next day nearly every one of my students made sure to tell me how sorry they were about what had happened.  Though I was far from the situation, I appreciated that a great deal.  The Chinese don’t always agree with us on politics and government, but they were all very sympathetic towards me.  It seems like so very long ago.
• If you’re looking for a running theme in this post, I suppose you’re out of luck.  Really, this is just what I was thinking about.  And you?

brett’s morning blend (7sep10)

I’ve not been on the internet much this week — so I’ve really got no (new) links to share.  But I’ve not ever missed a Tuesday’s “morning blend,” and don’t want to start now.  So I present to you a few of my favorite links in the history of “morning blend.”

DNA of Church Planting Movements in Small Groups

This is a great article that basically sums up our team’s strategy for evangelism in Tanzania.  The author gives some pretty good arguments for small groups, and also supplies us with a list of core values that should be established early on in any group.  A must read for evangelists, missionaries, and church planters — or for those who don’t understand yet exactly what we’re doing in Geita, and want to.

How to Pray for Missionaries

David Hosaflook suggests every Christian should be involved in the Great Commission — and then offers how to do so through prayer.

Dinosaurs and Jesus

Have you ever wanted to see Jesus riding a tyrannosaurus rex?  Or rocking a baby allosaurus to sleep?  These questions are rhetorical, of course.  Who would turn their back on such joy?!  And Jason Boyett, author of the Pocket Guides, is just the man to bring you these pictures.

Dance Praise?

“Dance Praise puts a whole new spin… on today’s high-energy dancing games by combining two of today’s most popular entertainment trends – contemporary Christian music and dance arcades. ”  I’m not falling for it.  No way — this is a trick.  You know, a spoof done by some youth minister.  Fake.  It’s not real.  There’s no way it could be.  I’m no fool.  Can you imagine being bamboozled by this hoax?  Nope — not me; no internet expert web designer’s gonna’ take me for that ride.  You’ve gotta’ get up pretty early in the morning.  Definitely this is not true. I can say that without any hesitation…  I think.

The Solution for World Hunger: Eating our Pets

Yes, pets are to blame for most of the problems in our world.  But this guy’s got the answer.  Alas, so many cats and so few recipes.  But I tell you, I knew when I lived there that the Chinese were onto something…

Autocomplete Me (or “Fat people are harder to kidnap”)

You know how Google automatically tries to complete your search query with frequently requested search terms?  Yeah, this site is dedicated to that.  And there are some really funny “autocompletes” out there.  In addition to fatties being kidnapped, here are just a few of my favorites.  [Keep in mind, a lot of people had to search for these things...]:

• Why is daddy in a dress?
• My brother was eaten by wolves on the Connecticut Turnpike.
• This looks like a job for emergency pants.
• Bacon is a little hug from God.
• I did the macarena with a homeless guy in an elevator because Big Bird said to, and he’s my leader.
• Amish Online Dating

Really?  Amish Online Dating?  ”My name is Obadiah, and I enjoy long walks on the beach, making furniture, and reading by candlelight.  I’m looking for a wife who can cook over an open fire, wants to have a lot of children, and… DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO USE THE INTERNET?”

brett’s morning blend (31aug10)

Time Travelers and the Eschaton

Church of Christ eschatology has generally been something like this:  there will be a judgment day, and we don’t know when it is.  In this essay, Richard Beck comments on that interpretation — but better yet he allows us to share in a conversation in which he explains the word eschaton (and its implications) to his son.  You see, I’m from the future…

How Rich Are We?

Trey Morgan shares some stats about money and its usage from around the world.  And in a couple of days he’s going to share some ideas on how we can help the situation.  Did you know Americans spend 15 billion dollars on bottled water when we have perfectly clean water that comes from our taps?  Here’s a picture of the water that comes from our tap here in Tanzania:

from the kitchen faucet -- the filter saves boiling a lot of water

Rwandan Coffee

If you regularly read aliens and strangers, you know that I drink Rwandan coffee (exclusively).  The coffee from Rwanda, in my mind, is matched only by Ethiopian Yirgachefe — and because the Rwandan border is less than four hours from Geita, this is actually the easiest whole bean coffee to come by.

Bourbon Coffee shop, which Christie and I enjoy, has three locations in Kigali, Rwanda, and (I just discovered) one in Washington D.C.  They’re soon to open another in Boston, and New York City is after that.  If you’d like to read more about Rwandan Coffee or the Bourbon brand, this article’s for you.

The Denny’s Fried Cheese Melt

This is another installment of “Sandwich Monday” from Wait, Wait of NPR.  Foods are something I miss a great deal while here in Tanzania — but I’ve found it’s probably actually the convenience of getting those foods that I miss the most.  Anyway, why has no one thought of a fried cheese sticks sandwich before now…

Fantasy Football

So, I won my league last year… from Tanzania.  Yep, the guys in my league apparently don’t know anything at all about football.  To read the only blog post I’ve ever written about American football, in which I mention the boneheads who make up my league, and in which I confess that I didn’t know who won the Super Bowl until I was able to watch it last year… on March 24th (yes, I watched the Super Bowl during March Madness, didn’t know who won until then, AND won my fantasy league), click here.]

So here’s the team I drafted this year.  And I’m no expert at fantasy football (though I did win our league last year), but after the roster I’ve shared one word of advice concerning the intelligent use of first round draft picks.

Quarterbacks

• Philip Rivers
• Brett Favre
• Vince Young

Running Backs

• Ryan Grant
• Jamaal Charles
• Joseph Addai
• Arian Foster

Receivers

• Andre Johnson
• Steve Smith (NYG)
• Donald Driver
• Mike Wallace
• Lee Evans
• Johnny Knox
• Chris Cooley (TE)

Defense

• Green Bay Packers
• Jon Beason

Kicker

• David Akers

It’s not how many fantasy points a player scores that’s important.  It’s how many points that player scores IN RELATION to other players of the same position.  Hence, I took Andre Johnson in the first round (4th pick), despite the fact that “all the points are scored by running backs.”