unity is merely a symptom

image courtesy of free-extras.com

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[In conjunction with Rachel Held Evans' "Rally to Restore Unity."]

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I am amused.  

While I am (mostly) in control of my own blog — I decide what subjects to address, how to write about them, when to publish my thoughts, which photos to accompany them, etc — it is ultimately the reader who decides how my blog will be used.

Why am I thinking about this today?  Because of yesterday’s post:

5 reasons kjv readers aren’t celebrating

It was a satire piece.  I used the 400-year anniversary of the King James Bible to poke fun at some of the arguments conservative Christianity uses to combat Christmas, Halloween, and other popular holidays.

The post was intended as comedy.  Humor.  [And was accepted as such.]  I suppose you could say there was a point.  I was indeed speaking to some larger issues, but mostly I felt like laughing.  So I wrote a piece that made me snicker.

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So why am I amused?

Because the post has generated intelligent discussion.  Not concerning the issue I was parodying, but having to do with language constructs and the like.*  That’s as funny to me as the post was to begin with.  [This is possibly commentary, however, on how humorous the original post was -- or, rather, was not.]

I’m not at all upset with the discussion that follows the KJV post.  I am, as I said, amused.  

The writer in a public forum has complete control over his written words, but very little control over how those words are received.  And even less control (practically none) over the discussions that flow from his work.

Is it any wonder, then, that we have myriad interpretations of practically every passage in the Bible?  Are we surprised our churches read the same words but take from them wildly dissimilar meanings?  So what’s a Christian to do?

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Scripture teaches that unity is a function of the Holy Spirit.  It is the Spirit’s responsibility to “guide [us] into all truth;”** unity is his endeavor.  It is our task, then, to be obedient to Christ’s teachings as the Spirit nurtures us, the body of Christ, to maturity.

While personally I believe modern Christianity places too much emphasis on the individual, personal saviors, and the like (surely a product of our American culture), the Spirit does play this role on both macro- and micro- levels.  The church as a whole will be built up to maturity by the Spirit’s power and leading.  But also we as individuals, the Spirit indwelling each of us, will become more like Christ as the Holy Spirit guides us into obedience to Jesus’ teachings.

Unity is the result.  Not the goal.

 

“By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”  – John 13:35

We don’t love one another in order to be disciples.  Rather, our love for one another is a symptom of our condition — that we are disciples of Christ.

I’m slightly uncomfortable, then, with the popular view that unity is equal to tolerance.  Unity is not the result of broad-mindedness.  It is the result of obedient lives, changed by the Holy Spirit to be more like Christ.

Seek obedience to Christ.  Unity will come.

[For a very practical approach to unity and obedience, see:  spiritual potty training and christian unity.]

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* Go read some of these comments – you’ll likely learn something.
** John 16:13 

6 laws for a safer tomorrow: protect our children

image courtesy of sinden.org

This is a dangerous world in which we live.  And I’m all for freedom and the pursuit of life and liberty — but we’ve desperately got to make some rules.  Kids are getting hurt out there.  Out of my deep love for humanity, I’d like to suggest we pass the following laws to safeguard American children. And if you have any allegiance to this great country, or any concern at all for our youth, you’ll sign my petition in support of said regulations:

Mandatory Knee and Elbow Pads for Everyone Under 16

image courtesy of urbanlime.com

Children’s bodies are still growing, and protecting their joints is a burden we must together bear.  This law will make sure Americans’ arms and legs are bending properly, and in the right places, for a long time to come.  And we’re not talking about during sporting events only — no, knee and elbow pads will be required from the time children wake up until they go to bed (at our new mandatory and nation-wide 7:00pm curfew).  We are calling on American Eagle, Gap, and Abercrombie to quickly get to work producing trendy and fashionable pads for the youth of this great nation.  If skinny jeans can become popular, we’re convinced elbow pads can, too.

Compulsory Waiting Periods (and Training Regimens) for Purchase of Video Games

We all know it’s not good for kids to sit on their bums playing Xbox all day.  This law requires that, before purchasing a game, a family must complete a two-month fitness program which includes (but is not limited to) running, weightlifting, yoga, daily stretching, and quick reflex training.  At the end of this two-month period each family member shall complete a race of no less than 10k, at which time the family will be given a voucher enabling them to purchase one (nonviolent) video game.  Additional vouchers will be given for exceptional performances and, especially, state records.  [Any individual able to, while wearing ankle weights, catch a flaming arrow fired from a professional archer's bow will qualify his/her family for a special exemption in which they can buy three video games while eating non-nonfat yoghurt and drinking butter.]

Changes in Police Arms and Conduct

As the defenders and protectors of the public, law enforcement personnel are role models to our children.  Much has been said about the impact of movie violence on our youth, but little attention has been paid to the influence these stalwarts of society affect on our children… with their weapons of mass destruction and potty mouth language.  From this point on, police-persons will not carry firearms and live rounds, but instead water guns.  And we all know if you’ve got nothing good to say, you shouldn’t say anything at all.  Therefore we will no longer permit language like this: “Alright scumbag, drop your weapon and come out with your hands up.”  Officers will instead speak to those good qualities possessed by evildoers:  ”Wow, you sure do know how to handle a piece; and you disarmed that alarm with great speed and efficiency.  Now, if you’ll kindly and gently place that gun on the ground and take two scissor-steps forward, Mother May-I would really appreciate it.”  And instead of reading criminals their rights, the officer and the criminal shall sit on the ground (criss-cross applesauce) and discuss how good boys and girls are supposed to treat one another.

New Regulations on Car Seats

image courtesy of comparestoreprices.co.uk

In many states we’re already providing a great service to our children by keeping them in car seats until they reach a weight of 120 pounds and the age of 14. Let’s make this the standard across the board.  And because we all know car seats provide a 250% increase in safety for our children, we will now require the use of car seats inside other car seats.  That’s right, double car seats.  Our children (and young teens) will be 500% safer in their Russian nesting seats, and we can all rest easier knowing it’s safer than ever for us to text and drive.

Counting to Ten

Children’s minds aren’t yet fully developed, so it’s sometimes difficult for them to grasp the very adult concepts of threat and punishment.  With the passing of this legislation, all parents will be required to count to “9 31/32″s before reaching “10″ and sending a child to his/her room.  It is absolutely crucial that we provide children ample time to understand our intentions before we go off half-cocked like crazy people — putting children in timeout after only counting to 3, and having used whole numbers.

No More Toys in Happy Meals

Fast food meals are incredibly unhealthy, and obesity is a tremendous problem in our nation among both adults and children.  With the toys that accompany their meals, McDonald’s and other restaurant chains are luring our children into their horrid dens of evil and clogging their arteries, all in order to make a quick buck.  This new law* will “allow toys to be given away with kids’ meals that have less than 600 calories, contain fruits and vegetables, and include beverages without excessive fat or sugar” only.**  And while we’re at it, we should weigh the adults upon entry and departure, so a bouncer can give them three flaming Indian Sunburns for every ounce of death food they ate.  And if they drank soda instead of water, a nice punch to the groin is probably appropriate.

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So, who’s with me?  Sign the petition below and include any appropriate comments.  Please feel free to suggest your own rules for the betterment of our nation and the safety of our children.  I’m convinced that, together, we can make the United States a safer place.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to envelop my daughter in bubble wrap before she goes out to play.

* This is an actual law being enacted in San Francisco — hence the quotation marks.  See this article:  Law Curbs McDonald’s Happy Meal Toys.  It was indeed the inspiration for this post.

** We’re going to call it the Sad Meal.  And I’m no expert on nutrition, but how many beverages have excessive fat?!  Are they serving french fry-flavored shakes?

not near ground zero, they don’t

In 1916, a group of Greek immigrants opened the Greek Orthodox Christian Church of St. Nicholas in New York City.  It stood there until September 11, 2001, when the second of the World Trade Center towers collapsed on top of it, the result of a horrible terrorist attack.  The church has been attempting to rebuild their place of worship since that time, working with the proper authorities to do so.  There was even an agreement reached at one time between the Archdiocese and the Port Authority for a particular area to be set aside for the church’s use.  But it seems the city has now reneged on their offer, and St. Nicholas Greek Orthodox Church is fighting a losing battle to reconstruct their building just a block or two from ground zero.

I say we don’t let them build their place of worship — not near ground zero, anyway.  And here are my reasons:

1. Where is their funding coming from? Sure they say the city is compensating them for moving from their original site, but can they provide us with some proof?  Now I don’t claim to know much about the Greek Orthodox Church, but I’m guessing it’s pretty similar, or even related to, the Eastern Orthodox Church (which I’ve heard of).  And so, it must have some ties to the east.  And there are terrorists in the east — especially in the middle of it.  So I demand to know where the funding is coming from for this so-called “Orthodox” church.  No building’s going up until I see financial records, I tell you.
2. Do any of us really know what the Greek Orthodox Church believes or practices? I know they speak really old languages during their services, wear funny robes and hats, and do a lot of chanting.  And their church calendar begins on September 1st and ends on August 31st.  It sounds like some kind of evil cult if, you ask me.  You know what I think?  I think if these Greek people want to have church buildings in America, they need to learn how to use American calendars, and they need to start speaking American.  They had better cut it out with all the chanting stuff and immediately forfeit anything that looks or sounds unfamiliar to me.  No doubt the immigrants who started these Greek churches were illegal in the first place.  Can somebody make these guys show us some birth certificates, please?
3. Ground zero is hallowed ground. And no one should be able to build any house of worship there unless they agree with me.  And, frankly, I’m uncomfortable with some of the things this Greek Orthodox Church does.  They shouldn’t offend me or make me uncomfortable, especially if they claim to be Christian; that’s just plain insensitive.  What’s worse is that I’m sure they’re doing it on purpose, just to rub it in my face.  I’ve personally asked them to change their choice of location, but they refused and said they believe their building will encourage a free exchange of spiritual ideas among the greater religious community.  That’s not true.  Only my church would be able to accomplish such a monumental task in that particular location.
4. I tell you the only way I’d be willing to change my mind is if they didn’t call this thing a church building, but instead referred to it as a community learning center or something.  Yeah, I suppose I could go for that.  Those crazy Greeks with their funny hats.

[For more reading on the St. Nicholas situation, see these articles in The New York Times and FOX News.  Or see this news release from the Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of America.  For my views on the whole mosque ordeal (if I were a female with kids -- otherwise called a mother), go here.]

brett’s morning blend (27apr10)

This week on the internet:

So… When Am I a Grown-Up?

It seems like Americans have been asking this question for a long time.  Am I an adult at 18… or 21… or college graduation… or when?  All you have to do in my family is note the year in which you are allowed to sit at the “adult table” during Thanksgiving dinner.  Answer: marriage… or beyond.  Current health insurance reforms seem to suggest adulthood begins at 26.  Collin Hansen of Christianity Today weighs in.

Is This Christianity?  Is This for Real?

For those of you who’d like to better understand postmodernism and its effects on Christianity, have a look at this website.  It is NOT a website that attempts to explain postmodernism and its effects — rather, it demonstrates said effects clearly.  Peter Rollins’ Insurrection carries this catchline: “to believe is human; to doubt divine.”  I’m all for allowing room for doubt’s presence in faith, but for it to be our aim and our focus?!   This website reads like satire, and is every bit as humorous to me.  Which brings us to our next link:

Unintentionally Hilarious Postmodern Websites, Vol. 1

This is Ted Kluck’s take on above website.  I don’t know which I enjoyed reading more — Rollins’ “provocative cocktail of incendiary theology” or Kluck’s list of words and concepts you won’t find on Rollins’ website.  Just so you don’t miss out, you should probably read both…

How to Make Huaraches

I haven’t spoken much lately about my attempts at switching over to barefoot running.  Let’s just say the roads in rural Tanzania don’t make this an easy endeavor, what with the sharp rocks, people staring (pointing, laughing, and heckling), and all the cow poop.  So I’m looking for some very minimalist shoes to wear.  My mom’s sending me a few pairs of those aqua-sock things — you know the shoes that sissy men with tender feet where at the pool.  I also intend to make a pair of huaraches, the traditional sandals worn by the Tarahumara running machines of Mexico.  This site carries the blueprint.

The Hotel Tilapia

Christie and I are going to Mwanza this weekend to fetch the McNeals from the airport and to get Baylor’s dependent pass (to make her legal here in Tanzania).  We stay with missionary friends in Mwanza in order to save money and have English conversations with people who share our culture of origin.  But we always take advantage of being in Mwanza by going out to eat at a few of its nicer restaurants.  This is a link to the Hotel Tilapia, whose atmosphere is better than the food, but is still a great place to go.  They sell chocolate croissants for 40 cents, and big Indian dinners for about $7.50.  But getting to sit down and be served something other than rice, beans, and grisly beef… priceless.