changing light bulbs

Seen on another blog, but I thought it worth the repost:

How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

  • Charismatics:  Only 1 – Hands are already in the air.
  • Pentecostals:  10 – One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
  • Presbyterians:  None – Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
  • Roman Catholics:  None – Candles only. (Of guaranteed origin of course.)
  • Baptists:  At least 15 – One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.
  • Episcopalians:  3 – One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks, and one to talk about how much better the old one was.
  • Mormons:  5 – One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.
  • Unitarians:  We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.
  • Methodists:  Undetermined – Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass.
  • Nazarenes:  6 – One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.
  • Lutherans:  None – Lutherans don’t believe in change.
  • Amish:  What’s a light bulb?

Anybody got a number for the Church of Christ?



Filed under slightly humorous or amusing?

3 responses to “changing light bulbs

  1. T

    How bad is it of me for not being able to stop laughing at the Mormons?

  2. certainly not any worse than it was for me to post it in the first place…

    i really thought there would be some good c of c punch lines. something like…

    13. 1 to change the light bulb while 12 make sure no one nearby is playing an instrument.

    but nothing…

  3. T

    yeah, I tried to come up with something, but realized we don’t Change anything…

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