you might be a missionary in africa if…

I know, I know… it’s incredibly cliche.  But still:

You might be a missionary in Africa if…

10.  the very last place you’d go when sick or injured is the local hospital.

9.  you and everyone in your family answers to at least two different names.  [My daughter is both Baylor and Bella.  My wife is Christie, Christ, Mama Bright, and Mama Bella.  And I am known as Brett, James, Bright, Baba Bella, Jesus, and John the Baptist (even though I shaved my beard a long time ago).]

8.  you have to drive three hours and cross the lake on a ferry  in order to buy a cheeseburger or a pizza.  And it still doesn’t taste good.

7.  those cheeseburgers and pizzas are starting to taste really good to you.

6.  you believe the average number of children in a family is seven.

5.  80% of your meals contain rice, and the other 20% require the slaughter of an animal and over four hours to cook.

4.  your local friends expect you to know all the white people in the world…
and President Obama.

3.  your American friends expect you to know all the missionaries in Africa — a continent more than 3X the size of the United States (including Alaska).

"oh, yeah, SURE i know THAT guy..."

  • Buy this poster or see the awesome curriculum that goes with it here.

  • 2.  you see no mosquitoes in the bathroom, and are overjoyed that you get to use the facilities without wielding an electric tennis racket.

    1.  checking your email is the equivalent of going to the movie theater — and you actually get a coke and make popcorn (on the stove) before you turn the computer on.

    Are there some that I’ve missed?



    Filed under slightly humorous or amusing?, top ten lists

    18 responses to “you might be a missionary in africa if…

    1. Good list, brother. I literally laughed out loud at some of these. Actually had to read them out loud to Debra because my laughter caught her attention. Have a blessed day with Bella and Mama Bella!

    2. Love it. And that map is cool. What’s the source?

    3. john, glad i could provide some humor for you.

      david, thanks for stopping by. and reminding me about the map. i meant to put a link on it, because it comes with some really cool curriculum. so i went back and added the link. it was put out by the african studies center at boston university.

    4. holly

      how about:
      when traveling you avoid small towns that might have “bathrooms” and opt for unpopulated areas to make your pit stop.

    5. but holly, i do that in the states.

      thanks for playing my game with me. i thought for sure we could reach a top 20 list, but so far it’s just you and me at 11…

      12. you have the nicest floors of all your neighbors. but in the states, people would think you lived in a garage… just plain old concrete.

    6. Even though I’m in Western Europe, I have #4 here (except for Obama). They seem to think I’ll definitely know their American friend who lives in New York, despite the fact I’m from California and have never been to the East Coast! With the countries being smaller over here, they tend to forget how big America is (and I didn’t realise how big Africa is; thanks for the lesson!).

    7. How about seeing a snake in your yard and getting excited because this is a real small one, or
      getting a wrapped in goat for your wedding instead of plates and candles… ( wach heart of the Hills website)
      Or findung yourself getting most excited to have a big rain, so it fills your watertank and being happy for every day where there is water at your house, or having the supermarket coming to your house instead of you going to the supermarket…
      well will will make the top 20 list

    8. c, i’m actually really surprised that you run into that in europe. not that i know anything about europe, except i do have this one friend. maybe you know him…?

      steffi, i really like the snake one. at this point, we’re happy if it’s not a mamba or a spitting cobra. i bet christie never thought she’d say she was happy to see some other smaller (and less dangerous) snake.

      it’s so funny that you sent me to the “hills of africa” blog. because we were in language school for a few weeks with dusty and kim. i didn’t know they had a blog — much less a “you know you’re in tanzania when…” list. how fun.

    9. Fun! I wish I had thought of those things for our list! Maybe I should do a yearly one since it’s an unending list surely. Good to see you all and many blessings on you!

    10. Pingback: brett’s morning blend (17aug10) « aliens and strangers

    11. 3.5 You know you’re a missionary kid from Africa if you actually do know of that one missionary from the other side of the continent. Because you went to boarding school with his kids and could tell some eye-popping stories…

    12. Pingback: top 12 list (of top 10 lists) on 12-12-12 | aliens and strangers

    13. My favorite is #10. So true!

      I know this post is pretty old, but I couldn’t resist, so here’s some more:
      …if you have come up with 50 or more creative ways to say “no.”
      …if your new definition of cold is anything below 80 degrees.
      …if you don’t bat an eye at a man telling you he has 3 wives.
      …if you get nothing done but some government paperwork and call it a very productive day.
      …if you have ever hyperventilated while crossing a border.
      …if your idea of dressing up is closed-toed shoes and an untucked collared shirt.
      …if you see more motorcycles in one day than in the first 20 years of your life combined.
      …if you get bored driving on smooth roads.

    14. Just got back to the states after seven months in Kara, Togo and I miss it VERY much. I was not there as a missionary, but interacted with several in Kara and you have described life in the third world very well. Maybe God will allow me to return to Africa someday.

      • if returning to africa is something you’d enjoy, james, i also do hope God allows you to return someday. seven months is a pretty good stay; glad you enjoyed it.

        personally, i fear i’d not be able to take the temperatures in togo for more than a couple of days.

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