A (very loose) modern-day retelling of Luke 3:8-14. John is preaching repentance and baptizing those who seek forgiveness for their sins. You can read the actual text here.
“Produce fruit in keeping with repentance. And stop comforting yourselves by saying you’ve been baptized and regularly attend church. God can put a bunch of wet rocks in a church building. I’m warning you — I can hear the chainsaws coming, and every tree that doesn’t produce good fruit will become firewood.”
“And if we don’t want that to happen?” those who called themselves Christians asked. “What fruit exactly is God looking for?”
John answered, “The guy with two cars should share with the guy who doesn’t have one. And the lady who eats expensive sushi meals should do the same.”
An entire boardroom of executives were baptized. “Sir,” they sent in a memo, “now that we’ve taken care of that bit of business, what’s next on the agenda?”
John answered, “Stop putting so much money in bank accounts and 401Ks. Spend more time with your kids. And cut it out with the viewing others as potential buyers. They’re God’s dearly loved children, who are lost and need to be found.”
Then some college students texted him and asked, “Professor J.T. Baptist, what do WE do? We’re just college students… [and will this be on the test?]”
Rather than texting, he called them back — actually dialing a number — to say, “Stop buying every new electronic gadget. Spend more time serving meals to the homeless than tweeting your friends about what you did today — or retweeting what they did. Worry less about the shape of your body, and more about the students nobody else on campus will be seen with.”
On the way to his lake house, an elderly man asked John, “And me? What would God want me to do?”
John spoke loudly into the old man’s good ear, “Don’t give up on life, and quit claiming you’ve earned the right to relax. Use your retirement years for the kingdom. Fishing and golfing are fine, but take some young guys along. Mentor them. Quit complaining about their music; instead teach them to love one another and those in their community. You were given wisdom and white hair for a reason.”
Let’s act like we’re saved;
Live like we belong to Christ;
And produce fruit in keeping with repentance.
…And for goodness sake, let’s stop hoarding the sushi.
You can read my thoughts on this text here.