This sandwich is why I never should have left the states. The moment I remove myself from within driving distance of a fast food restaurant, KFC invents what might be the best thing since to replace sliced bread.
And this blog post is just one of the reasons I subscribe to NPR’s Wait, Wait… Don’t Blog Me. On “Sandwich Monday,” seven of Wait, Wait‘s writers and staff ate the sandwich for which I should’ve stayed in the U.S., lived, and then commented on it.
We all get excited about a lesser-celebrated school playing up to the level of the big boys in the NCAA Tourney… and then news like this is made public. Steroids in baseball, EPO in cycling, cheating in “golf,” and now this. I’m becoming a fan of bowling, darts, or billiards, where the only performance enhancers are cigarettes and beer. And those are just to give the “athletes” something to do while they’re standing around. [Also why so many baseball players dip tobacco — it’s either that or play with the grass in the outfield.]
The Foreign Service Institute has some great material for learning new languages. And it’s free. There are hundreds of lessons in over 40 different languages. I’ve only looked in detail at the Swahili stuff, but if it’s representative of the whole, these are legit.
As you probably already know and have been celebrating now for 13 days, April is National Poetry Month. I live in Tanzania, and we don’t celebrate poetry; instead April is National Eat Rice at Every Meal Month — wait a minute… didn’t we celebrate that in March… and February… and…. The link above is to poets.org, where you will find a list of 30 ways to celebrate poetry. Some of them are pretty dumb. And one is a game called “Exquisite Corpse,” which I’m not sure I want to be a part of.
So there’s a group called “The League of Canadian Poets.” And they’re celebrating National Poetry Month by — hey, who invited them? The Canadians can get their own month, as far as I’m concerned. National. That means our country, not our continent. I haven’t seen an invitation to our “friends” from the north; and it’s rude to come to a party uninvited. ESPECIALLY when you choose your own theme for the month. And their theme: Climate Changes. What?! That’s ridiculous! All the beautiful things we could write about and celebrate with poetry, and the Canadians choose climate change? I’m glad Frost, Whitman, Dickinson, and Silverstein didn’t live to see this day. They would’ve recklessly sprayed aerosol cans while driving their Hummers and Suburbans at higher than the optimal speed for fuel efficiency. [For the record, National Poetry Month was adopted in the states in 1996. Canada adopted April as their celebration of rhyming in 1999. That’s the national holiday equivalent of plagiarism. For another blog post on lack of Canadian creativity, go here.]
And a Special Invitation
I’ve not yet asked him, and so, this blog post will be his formal invitation. But I’m going to invite my younger brother, Brian, to write a poem for my blog in celebration of (the United States’) National Poetry Month. The rules are that:
- it can’t be vulgar* (you guys don’t know my brother…).
- it can’t be written in such a way or about such a topic that will get me in trouble with my mission supporters.
- it can’t be about climate change. [Take that, Canadians.]
- it can’t be sympathetic to the Canadians. [My brother is definitely a Canadian-Sympathizer, with his rowdy Canadian friends, his love of hockey,* and his phony French accent.]
This will be the first guest post ever on my blog. I know those of you who have been reading for more than a couple of days are really excited. The day, should my brother accept my invitation: Sunday, April 18th.
* This is a late edition asterisk, only added after my wife corrected me, saying I shouldn’t make people believe that my brother is vulgar. He indeed is not.
** This is another late edition asterisk, added after my brother corrected me, saying he prefers the good Canadian sport of curling to hockey. He did not, however, correct me concerning his being vulgar.