could somebody pass me that remote control… and a sandwich?

I’m a lazy person.  Kind of.  It’s strange.  Because sometimes I’m incredibly disciplined and hardworking.  I run at least four days a week, between 6 and 14 miles.  I work through lunch lots of days.  I’m usually up before light, doing a Bible study with a cup of coffee — okay, six cups of coffee.  But you get the point.  You should know, however, that as I’m writing this very entry, I’m watching an episode of friends that Christie and I JUST finished watching… because it’s too much trouble to change the DVD or use the remote control.  [In my defense, our remote control is really jacked up and pretty much requires that you remove the batteries and put them back in at least twice before it will work.]

Top 10 Ways I Know I’m Lazy

10.  Cold drinks with ice are one of the few comforts we have that remind me of the states.  Yet I take my beverages warm and without the rocks — because I don’t like having to break ice out of its trays.  Plus I’m afraid I’ll be the one to empty the tray, and then have to refill it.  [So when I occasionally do take ice, I always leave two cubes in the tray.  If I just left one, it would be obvious I did it intentionally… but two, that’s a different story.]

9.  Every evening when I get out of the shower, I carefully select which shirt I’ll put on.  Because I know when I get dressed the next day, that “pajama” shirt will magically transform into my “daytime” shirt.

8.  I keep my hair and beard the same length, not because I think it necessarily looks nice, but because that way I can use the clippers just once, and without having to change the guard.  [Just thought of a funny skit about “the changing of the guard” at Buckingham Palace…  if only I knew how to use a video camera.]

7.  I eat leftovers straight from the fridge and right out of the tupperware.  Two reasons:  1) the microwave takes too long, and 2) there’s an extra dish to wash if I use a plate.

6.  This morning I spent 30 minutes trying to wirelessly print across the 18 inches ‘twixt computer and printer, because I wasn’t willing to plug in the USB cord.

5.  Sometimes I drive my truck 3/4 mile to the starting point of my run for that day — even though the run itself might be 10 or 12 miles.

4.  I like sandwiches, but I never make them.  If Christie offers to make me one, I’ll eat it.  But making a sandwich requires slicing bread, which in turn requires picking up all the little crumbs from the counter after slicing.  So I put a big gob of egg salad on a plate, tear off a piece of bread, dip, and enjoy.  It works with peanut butter and jelly, too!

3.  I was just about to leave the house today, when I realized I’d left all  my “pocket-stuff” (keys, money, knife, chapstick, driver’s license, buzz lightyear secret decoder keychain) in my jeans from the day before.  “That’s a lot of stuff, ” I thought to myself.  Then I changed pants.

2.  Cleaning Baylor’s pacifier requires filtered water or a pacifier wipe.  So I sanitize it by sucking on it for a few seconds, even though we’re pretty sure that’s how I got sick and went to the hospital this time.

1.  We have a bathroom in our house that we call the “wetroom,” because it’s got a squatty potty in the floor and is covered completely in tiles.  The “wetroom” is my personal shower room of choice, because I can shower and use the restroom at the same time.  I know some of you are unimpressed and thinking you can do this in your showers.  But you can’t do THIS in your showers….*

*My wife insisted I interject here that she strongly disapproves both of this action and of my posting it in a public forum.


Filed under slightly humorous or amusing?, top ten lists

7 responses to “could somebody pass me that remote control… and a sandwich?

  1. Made me laugh james. But don’t you just loooove making the wife embarrassed? i didn’t see anything in here that when I take the dog outside or feed the dog I just stay there and sleep in the doghouse because I will just to walk back there when my wife kicks me out of bed for posting something embarrassing. LOL

  2. Daniel

    I miss the toilet shower combo. very relaxing.

  3. Pingback: lazy… or efficient? | aliens and strangers

  4. Now I know things about you I wish I didn’t know. :).

  5. Pingback: top 12 list (of top 10 lists) on 12-12-12 | aliens and strangers

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s