Do you ever find yourself on a search engine, looking to see how your blog is doing on a particular subject or theme? Yeah, I’ve never done that.
Generally speaking, though, it’s not been to see if someone will find my blog while searching for something worthwhile or even logical. I’d love for someone to find my blog while searching for “church planting,” “Christian missions,” or “how to study the Bible.” But these aren’t the phrases under which I find myself scouring the results for my own name and website.
No, my google searches are resigned to the odd and humorous. I find myself wondering how in the world someone came to my site searching for:
- pharisees haiku
- bone fairy
- barely making it into heaven [Do they think I’m writing about this, or are they describing me? Either way, not what I’m going for…]
- sexy beggars
- this is why you’re fat
- eagle sock
- is diapers 3 syllables or 2
The overwhelmingly most popular (odd) way of arriving at my blog, though, is some variation on:
- alien pick-up lines
- astronaut pick-up lines
- outer space pick-up lines
My blog consistently shows up in the top five options under these kinds of searches.* There are dozens of people frequenting my website every week, desperate for creative ways to meet the fairer sex at Star Trek conventions. And I realized just today that I’m failing these readers miserably. Every guy deserves a shot at his lovely green classmate, who thrills with her super-human abilities to read minds and vaporize humans. Every girl needs to have in her back pocket a sexy way of asking a guy to join her for an episode of Battle Star Galactica. And every Martian needs to know the culturally appropriate words to use when asking an Earthling out for a social or romantic appointment in which two individuals attempt to engage one another , seeking to determine in short order the possibility of present and future compatibility.
And you guys know how I hate to disappoint my readers. So without further ado, I offer you my top ten alien / astronaut pick-up lines:
10. Are you an alien? Because you just abducted my heart.
9. Of all the planets in all the solar systems in all the galaxies, you walked into mine…
8. I’d like to wrap my 36 arms around you.
7. Is your dad an astronaut? Because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
6. Are you a carbon-based model?
5. Do you work for NASA? Because you’re out of this world.
4. I’m currently experiencing 10,000 Gs of LUV.
3. If you were a laser, you’d be set on “stunning.”
2. If a star fell every time I thought of you, the sky would be dark at night.
1. Your eyes glow just like the twin suns on my home planet.
Any alien pick-up lines you’d like to add? And tell me, is this how you came to my blog — searching for help with outer-space romance? Be honest…
* If your goal is only to have a blog that is visited often — and aren’t concerned at all with the topic of said blog — might I suggest you begin by writing about alien romance and love? There is definitely a wide open niche waiting to be filled by you (yes, you). You could become the Michael Hyatt of aliens dating with purpose, productivity, and leadership. Or the Jonathan Acuff of Stuff Aliens Like (who, by the way, is the Christian Lander of Stuff Christians Like.)