in the last week…

It’s Saturday, and I’m waiting for football matches to begin.  Readership generally drops over the weekends, so I was thinking I wouldn’t write anything today.  Plus, I just don’t have a whole lot to say.  But there’s a computer sitting open on the desk, and I’m drawn to write at least something.  So I give you a very unimportant blog post:

In the last week…

After rereading this opening paragraph, I’ve decided that if there’s one thing I dislike on blogs, it’s when authors begin by apologizing for any of the following:

  • not posting in a long time
  • posting twice in one day
  • the quality of a particular blog post
  • the quality, appearance, or organization of their blog in general
  • stealing your girlfriend at summer camp in 8th grade and making you look like a fool in front of all of your friends, because you got super dressed up to go the banquet and then didn’t have anyone to go with — or to whom you could give the flowers and the card you were sheepishly holding while tears began to fill your eyes (and even if you had been able to think fast and give the flowers to someone, you would have needed to hide the card because it already had someone else’s name in it — and  plus the poem you wrote about the moment you met her and how it changed your life wouldn’t have made sense for someone else anyway).  How could he do that to you?

People, just begin your blogs.  None of us are upset that you haven’t posted in a week.  And if we are, you apologizing will only remind us of it again.  Just start your blog post already.  And because I want to follow my own advice, please allow me to begin again:


In the last week…

New Hissing Houseguest

The other night I was alerted to a visitor in our home by a slamming door and loud gasp.  My wife told me there was a huge cockroach in our bathroom and motioned with her hands about 6″ apart.  I was a little annoyed and said there was no such thing.  Then I opened the bathroom door and immediately slammed it.  I had seen my first 4″ giant hissing cockroach.  I hit him pretty hard with my shoe, and he did nothing but get angry.  The loud hissing didn’t stop until I flushed him down the toilet alive.

A Strange Gift

I recently had problems with a defective bike pump from a particular company.  They took a great deal of time in replacing my pump, and so, said they’d send a gift in the mail with the pump.  They actually used the words, “bicycle care package.”  In the “care package” was the pump and 49 other items:

  • a vise whip tool (used to change bike cassettes and cogs — a very nice gift)
  • 48 tire levers (for the bicycle-challenged among us, levers are used two at a time — and they are NOT items intended to be disposable)

Blogs To Which I Subscribed

Blogs From Which I Unsubscribed

Worst TV Episode Watched

I have now surely seen the worst episode of West Wing ever.  It was titled “Access” and aired in season 5.  It was written and recorded as a documentary about C. J. Cregg, and is likely the worst episode ever aired of any television show.  That’s exaggeration, let me reword:  It is likely the worst episode ever aired of any good television show.

Most Boring World Cup Match Watched

The only redeeming factor in an incredibly boring Brazil – Portugal match was that Portugal’s Tiago was carded in the 32nd minute for diving in the Brazil penalty box.

Favorite Comment (of my own) on Another Post

The author waxed poetic about how she loves reading library books because of the belongings she regularly finds, left behind by others (things like bookmarks, business cards, love letters).  She said she keeps all of them, to remind her of the real people who read books.  Weirded out just a little, I responded:

I kind of do the same thing with bowling shoes and roller skates.  Whenever I’m renting shoes at the lanes or the rink, I like to keep whatever the person before me left behind.

Usually it’s dirty socks.

But I keep those socks… to remind me of the real people out there who go bowling.

Favorite Comment (of another) on My Own Blog

JMF on the third goal controversy and cable in tanzania:

Ah, soccer. Definitely the un-gayest sport in the world. I mean, you have a perfect storm of euro-trash, men wearing capris, swarthy guys with greasy mullets, and I’d assume there are an abundance of man-purses. I’m getting a testosterone rush just thinking about it.

What I’m Currently Reading and Memorizing Every Morning

Matthew 5:1-20 and 1 Corinthians 13:1-8a

Chance You Could Guess the Gender of My (still) Nearly Bald Daughter Wearing Only a Diaper

50%

Chance You Could Guess the Gender of My (still) Nearly Bald Daughter, Wearing Only a Diaper

100% (if SHE’S wearing clothes) but that would just be strange.


What’s happened with you in the last week?


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27 Comments

Filed under slightly humorous or amusing?

27 responses to “in the last week…

  1. i’ve been sick 😦 i saw those hissing cockroaches once at a zoo. i don’t envy you. they were scary enough in the terrarium.

  2. Daniel

    People still refer to our nearly bald daughter as “he” even if she’s wearing all pink with a bow on her head.

    In order to remind me that other people like french fries, sometimes I like to save the ones I find left in the booth. And sometimes I like to eat them.

    • one day, daniel, one day… our daughters will look like girls. though i’m not gonna’ lie; i’m in no hurry.

      as for your french fry collection to remember others like fries, couldn’t you just look at all the people around you eating them?

      of course i could do the same by peering through the smoke to see all the other bowlers. and the blog writer could know others read books by the fact that the pages are dirty in those books she checks out from the library.

      actually, get this: the blog writer is a literary agent. that’s her job. surely she knows that real people read books. she makes a living because of it.

  3. Let’s see. I unsubscribed from some blogs. I checked out your Boyett & Strachan unsub and can understand the latter big time. I share your concern about beliefnet when I went there and an ad came up for a a TV show about the oldest profession. Also went for a few bike rides, yesterday was 35. Read your blog each day. Preparing for tomorrow now just preparing myself. Oh, and I watched a little baseball. Waiting for Tour de France.

  4. JMF

    Spent every free moment on Mon, Tues, and Wed. studying/outlining/fretting over my class preparations for Wed. night (I am an inexperienced teacher and thus, prep doesn’t come too easy for me). At 5pm on Wed I sent my print-outs to the preacher to get printed. He texts me back: “No prob. Will get them done. But we aren’t having church tonight b/c of VBS.” Well, I’m prepared for next week and maybe I can finally get ahead!

    Hit 275# for 3 reps on military press…a PR for me.

    Yesterday, got to have a short road trip with just me and my two nephews. They are 10yrs and 6yrs. Obviously, those are ages where 95% of your thoughts and speech involve genitals, other personal body parts, and bodily functions. At 33yrs, I am down to a mere 80%.

    Anyway, I don’t see them much, so it was obviously precious time. I found that I traverse the chasm between being the mature uncle and the friend that actually finds them to be really really funny very poorly. It was pretty great.

    *I learned a new word: Retrosexual. Basically, it is where guys that are desperate to have an identity dress like Don Draper from “Mad Men.”

    *I sweated so much that whenever I put my Blackberry up to my head, it stopped working and shorted out. Definitely a very manly accomplishment.

    Bro, we’ve got to line you up on some better TV shows. West Wing? Check out Dexter and Big Love. Of course, these are cable shows and thus, the content is stronger. Big Love is amazing–it does an amazing job of showing the good hearts of the religious, but also showing the extreme hypocrisy. And it does it in an unoffensive way.

    Dexter is just, well, phenomenal. Again, explores that line between darkness and goodness; as a guy, you’ll relate to him. He is a good guy (if you lean towards the anti-social, it can be scary how much you relate) that does bad things…but for a good reason.

    I can recommend more…that is my weekend entertainment. Actually, it might just be easier if I note the 2-3 shows that are WORSE than West Wing. “Air Wolf”, “Quantum Leap”, and “The Facts Of Life” would be those three shows. I had to slink all the way back to the 80’s. Next in horribleness comes “West Wing”, preceded by “Street Hawk” and then “Small Wonder”, “Felicity” and “227”, respectively.

    • 275 on military press?! wow, fife, you’re a hoss. i’ve never benched over 220. and i’m not a tiny guy. [extremely weak and sickly, maybe — but not tiny.]

      i feel like ‘west wing’ is a pretty good tv show. but we do kind of have to take what we can get here. it’s certainly an improvement over the ‘smallville’ shows i was watching at the end of last year. pretty much our options of watching tv and movies consist of what other missionaries have received from their families on dvd. so we all trade and switch out. our family owns ‘everybody loves raymond,’ ‘friends,’ ‘scrubs,’ ‘west wing,’ and ‘alias’ — most of which were bought in china when i lived there.

  5. Kim

    Hmmmm.. lots of laundry. A surprise date with my honey (I surprised him this time), a really nice long motorcycle ride, just spent 4 hrs sweating and chipping our 6ft tall azalea bushes (or at least most of them) and look forward to getting some good God time in tonight and tomorrow.

    Favorite person of the week: my hubby. He’s been awesome to me since I got home (think he missed me!)

    Thing I wish I had most this week: a pool. It’s been so hot!

    Place I wish I could go: back to bed for a nap – oh wait I can…

    Catch ya’ll later!

  6. Linda M

    Hi James Brett,
    I’m glad we don’t have cockroaches that big in Canada. We don’t deal with large insects, snakes, or scorpions here where I live. We deal with a few ants and some leaf bugs. Hallelujah!!

    This week was a washout for me. I took some days off from my legal case. ‘Discouragement recovery’.
    What was great was sitting out on my patio reading the Bible on nice days. I make a trip to McDonalds for their any size $1 pops over the summer, their coffee and muffin value pick for under $2 and head home for some reading.
    I visited with my next door neighbor over the fence a couple of times this week and sympathized with her over a recent miscarriage loss. Griffin their youngest at 2 1/2 thinks I am his gramma. He comes over fence side to talk with me whenever he sees me come outside. 🙂
    I went to Calgary for an appointment that turned out to be a dissapointment of what I was anticipating to get in an expert report in my legal case. Turns out she can’t give me an expert report at all.
    A young 7 year old girl from a nearby town was kidnapped and assaulted a week ago. I sumitted a tip to the police online because I thought I might know something that might help them find the perpetrator that did this ‘bizzare’ act. Right now the police are going door to door in the town where this happened and stopping cars on the roads asking for information. She was found alive thankfully.
    I picked three quarters full of a black garbage bag of weeds out of the gravel parking area at the back of my yard.
    I’ve been watching some Fifa World Cup football games from South Africa. The games come on tv around 7:00 pm on CBC in my area of Canada. I think CBC runs some late night games around 11:00 pm too.

    • linda, a few questions and statements:
      -are you a lawyer?
      -what are pops at mcdonalds?
      -your talking over the fence reminds me of that show ‘home improvement.’ i liked that one.
      -good news on the girl being found.
      -so canada’s not showing the games live? or is there another channel that does, and you choose this one?

      • Linda M

        Hi James Brett,
        Negative on the lawyer. I’ve been trying to represent myself in Court for matrimonial property division and spousal support.

        Sorry about the word ‘pops’. I mean Coke drinks. small, medium and large drinks. I get the large for $1. Your blogging with someone over 55 years old james brett. ‘Pops’ is retro talk.

        My fence is smaller about 3 or 4 ft. I can lean on the top rail. My neighbor sits on a chair in her yard. I drink my coffee, she eats her icecream, and we chat. She’s a young mom.

        I’m not sure if Canada is showing the games live. Maybe some of them. The last game I watched a part of was between Korea and Uraguay, last night, June 26.

        • i think if i had heard pops aloud, i would have recognized it — but something about reading it confused me a great deal.

          i don’t know if i’d rather be in your yard for the coffee or in hers for the ice cream. that might be one conversation in which i’d choose to straddle the fence.

          good luck with the court stuff.

          • Linda M

            Hi James Brett,
            and I could visualize you straddling the fence too james brett. My guess though is that you would soon head over to the picnic table in her yard and sit down. You’re welcome to have coffee in my yard too. I happen to have 3 fairly comfortable chairs on my patio. Bring your lovely family.
            I like your new picture.

  7. Worked.

    Drove to Little League All Star baseball games.

    Watched Little League All Star baseball games.

    Drove home.

    Slept.

    Repeated several times. Skipped church in the process once.

    Moved a chicken coop. Sweated. A lot.

    Argued with children. Took one of the children fishing.

    Ate good pizza at Nick and Nate’s.

    Crashed.

  8. That cockroach would so be a deal breaker. I’d have to leave that night.

    One time in China my kitchen was FULL of them and Emily Web (now Thames) came in and killed them all. Since that day I have believed her to be a superhero, a woman among women, the bravest soul in the world.

    • never knew that about you, janie. i’m surprised you made it your full commitment in the land of rice, with cockroach-aphobia. good ol’ emily webster; where do she and her husband live now?

      • I am surprised too. I think God kept the roaches at bay until someone capable could rescue me from them (Emily).

        She, along with her husband Trent, and their precious, new little girl, Lily live in Montgomery, AL these days.

  9. David Robinson

    My brother michael has hissing cockroaches in his office as pets. They’re in a terrarium, though. They’re a little less intimidating behind glass.

    I think I’m a little late at updating you on my week but, I am at annual recurrent training in New Jersey…JOY! Got to enjoy the Newark airport at 1 am a couple mornings ago.

    This is starting to get a bit like facebook with status updates.

    p.s. I think we can tell anna is a girl now even in a diaper only. If she has her hair in pigtails it gives it away pretty easily.

    • i told christie i’d like to keep the next hissing cockroach we find. she doesn’t like the idea.

      please don’t tell me my blog is starting to be like facebook. that’s not what i was going for.

      baylor might one day have enough hair for pigtails, but right now i’ve got more hair on my legs than she does on her head… and that says something.

      • I’m going to side with Christie on that one. But a picture could be interesting….okay maybe not. I might not be able to revisit your blog. So never mind on the picture.

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