dear diary — 10th day of nisan

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10th day of Nisan, 5:50 am

Dear Diary,

I’m back.  We had our meeting last night, and none of us really knew what to do with the becoming servants and slaves thing.  It just doesn’t make sense to us that to be a great leader, you first have to be a servant.  Maybe JC’s trying to say we need to learn the value of hard work?  My bigdaddy used to always say that.  But I think we fisherman already know the meaning and value of hard work.  Jesus thinks fishing’s easy, but that’s just because we got lucky and had a really good day that one time he came with us.  Of course he also wasn’t responsible for mending all Simon’s nets that got ruined that day.  And I bet he has no idea how much work it’d been if our boats had actually sank.  I mean fishing isn’t carpentry — we don’t sit in chairs, talking and whittling on wood all day.  It’s hard work.  **snorting and spitting**  [But Matthew… now that guy could probably learn a thing or two about hard work.]

As for the ransom and kidnapping stuff Jesus said, all 12 of us think it might have something to do with what Jesus said on our way to Jerusalem this trip.  I initially didn’t give it an entry in the diary for three reasons:

  1. I had no idea what it meant.
  2. It sounded kind of morbid, and I’d rather keep my diary cheery and happy.  Talk of death doesn’t sit well next to my sketches of cute, little kittens and rainbows.
  3. While traveling, my diary stays locked and hidden in some old tunics on one of the donkeys; I don’t want the other 11 to know I keep a journal.  That would be soooooo embarrassing.  Especially if they found the pages where I practiced writing my name in cursive with Martha of Bethany’s last name.  [That girl really can cook.  And she doesn’t mind staying in the kitchen all day long if it’s needed.]  **warm feeling, hugging myself and thinking of food**

Anyway, Jesus said something about how he’ll be betrayed and the chief priests are going to condemn him and let the Gentiles torture and crucify him.  He said he’d be raised to live again on the third day.  We’re not sure how the kidnap and ransom bit plays in, but it sounds like all that might be part of the same parable.  Our best guess is Jesus has some kind of plan to get kidnapped by the teachers of the law and sold as a slave to the Gentiles, who will treat him poorly in the beginning, but will later allow him to advance in their government?  We think the crucifixion bit probably is representative of something…  and maybe the three days means three years?  We’re not sure yet, but if this is indeed what JC’s planning to do, we’ve decided to have a little talk with him.  I mean the whole sold-into-slavery thing in order to advance in government is so played out.  Joseph did that like a million years ago.

We all wanted Peter to be the one to speak up the next time Jesus starts talking crazy like this — but he’s pretty apprehensive after that one time Jesus called him Satan (that was funny).  Still, Peter can be dared into almost anything.  And Judas was the only guy to offer, but he wanted cash for it; dude’s always trying to make some easy coin (with his wee beady eyes).

Okay, I’ve got to go get some breakfast before the other guys eat it all.  Plus, they always leave the milk out, and I can’t stand tent temperature milk in my Grape-Nuts.  They’re already not good; they taste just like gravel.  When’s someone going to invent a crispy, sugar cereal with chocolate in it…?  I heard the Flintstone family was already working on it.  If anybody can do it, it’s them.  Have you seen that car they drive?!  And they have a dinosaur dishwasher, too.

I’m Audi 5, yo.

* This post is the third in a “dear diary” series from Matthew 20.  The first two: dear diary — 7th day of nisan and dear diary — 9th day of nisan.



Filed under dear diary

7 responses to “dear diary — 10th day of nisan

  1. I can’t get over how great this is!

    “We think the crucifixion bit probably is representative of something… and maybe the three days means three years?”

    I love how you poke fun at how this “parable” might be talking about a day or a year. Ha!

    “but he’s pretty apprehensive after that one time Jesus called him Satan (that was funny)”

    I am just loving these. You are a phenomenal writer.

  2. Zee

    hey Brett,

    i gotta confess – i was more of a “stalker” lately rather than a “commenting reader” but i gotta get out from my hiding and say – THESE ARE AWESOME!!!

    seriously, though – thank you. i’m echoing Jess’ comment above – you are a really good writer!

    • thanks, zee. i have to tell you that i’m really tired tonight — about to fall asleep. so the first two times (not just one) i read your last sentence, i read it this way: …”i’m echoing Jesus’ comment above…”

      and both times, for that split second, i was so incredibly confused as to what in the world Jesus had said from above that you might echo.

  3. Great!!
    I love how they are trying to figure out what J.C. means with the crucifixion.

    “Jesus has some kind of plan to get kidnapped…”
    “I mean the whole sold-into-slavery thing in order to advance in government is so played out. ”

    I am curious how they will react when they find out the truth.

    • sarah, i have some bad news and i have some slightly interesting news (i’m sorry — there’s no good news).

      first, the slightly interesting: i didn’t work it in, but i was thinking i should mention something about joseph being sold for 20 pieces of silver and Jesus for 30. i still might go back and include that, but i didn’t think of it until after i’d done my final proofread…

      now, the bad news: i don’t think you’ll find out from me how they react when they discover the truth — at least not in this series. it ends tomorrow, and i don’t make it that far in the story. but maybe my next “dear diary” series…?

  4. Pingback: dear diary — friday, july 16 « aliens and strangers

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