THAT’S IT! I. have. had. E…NOUGH! I’m sick and tired of you two arguing all the time. You boys are entirely too old to be acting like this.
Islam, you’re 1400 years old and should know better than to wittingly aggravate your brother like this; and your “This is not actually Ground Zero — I’m not touching, I’m not touching” routine is not going to cut it this time, mister.
And you, Christianity, I can’t believe I’m listening to a 2000 year old whine and cry about where someone else wants to play with his toys. This is a shared house, and what do you think gives YOU the right to control where everybody else goes and what they do there?!
I don’t know why you two can’t be more like your older brother, Judaism, and quietly mind your own business. And I do mean business. Have you seen Jud’s lemonade stand? He’s making a killing right there in our own front yard — and no one’s being made angry in the process.
And, no, WE WILL NOT be drawing a line down the middle of the room. We didn’t do that in the 1860’s with North and South, and we’re for sure not doing it with you. You boys are just gonna’ have to learn to share. And if you two don’t start playing well together, then no one — and I mean NO ONE — gets a place of worship! Not at Ground Zero or anywhere else.
Now hug and go to your room. There will be absolutely no Xbox tonight, and I’d say you’re going to bed without any dinner, but — Islam, you must be starving; you haven’t eaten since sunrise. I’ll send Judaism up with some Kosher foods after dark. Until then, I want you two to think about what you’ve done, and how it reflects on who you are.