who for then what?

The kid’s head was right in front of the television, and my mind traveled back to Mike Myers in So I Married an Axe Murderer.  And then back to Auburn University, 1995 — okay, so my mind’s already been on Auburn a lot lately.  Anyways, good film.  Axe Murderer was the go-to movie during my freshman year of college — I must have watched it 20 times that ’95-’96 school year.  I had nearly every line memorized; and the movie — or one of its hilarious quotes — undoubtedly came up daily.

A few of us got in the habit of singing “There She Goes” (by The Boo Radleys) each time a certain girl entered our Chemistry class.  Others of us would, in our best Scottish accents (mine is horrible — all my accents are), make fun of each others’ big heads (like oranges on toothpicks).  Coffee shops were just becoming popular in Auburn, and always someone was complaining there’d been a mistake because they ordered the large cappuccino.  None of us trusted the Colonel with his wee beady eyes.  And my roommates and I ate haggis for dinner at least four nights a week.

As far as movies go, So I Married an Axe Murderer WAS my freshman year of college.

I haven’t seen it since.

Funny how we have those movies.  Those albums.  Those lotions from Bath and Body Works (Sun-Ripened Raspberry rules).  Those aquamarine-colored L.L. Bean anoraks (yeah, I was probably the only guy with that color).

Music and movies, smells and shells — these are the closest we’ve got to time travel machines.

That which seems so very important, funny, interesting, popular, or relevant today likely will not last beyond a season.  But it may forever possess a remarkable ability to return us to that season, even if only for a moment.

Take the time, then, to smell the roses (and the lotions) and to quote some funny movies.  That may one day be your only ticket to Memory Lane. You’ll have to write your own moral for this blog post; this is far too trite.  And, really, I didn’t have a point when I started writing anyway.

I leave you with a “War Eagle!” and a few of my favorite quotes from So I Married an Axe Murderer:

Harriet:  It’s late.
Charlie:  Not for me.
Harriet:  Who for then?
Charlie:  Who for then what?
Harriet:  Well you sighed and then you looked at your watch so I was just wondering who it was late for.
Charlie:  Not for me. I love the night life. I like to boogie!!

Charlie:  Tell me one bad thing that you’ve done, and it better be evil.
Harriet:  How evil?
Charlie:  Really evil. Like so evil, that you would say it was E-VEEL, like the FRU-ITS of the DE-VEEL.

Harriet. Harri-et.
Hard-hearted harbinger of haggis.
Beautiful, bemus-ed, bellicose butcher.
Un-trust… ing.
Un-know… ing.
Un-love… ed?
“He wants you back,” he screamed into the night air like a fireman going to a window that has no fire…
except the passion of his heart.
I am lonely.
It’s really hard.
This poem… sucks.

Bonus: Speaking of reminiscing, old stuff, memories and the like, from whom does this quote come (without googling) — and of what season in your life does it remind you?

The smell from a grill could spark up nostalgia.

Or maybe you just want to express your deep love for Axe Murderer



Filed under just thinking

24 responses to “who for then what?

  1. JMF

    I don’t know the quote, and I’ve never seen that movie — so I have nothing to offer on that front.

    So, let’s talk football.

    That was the biggest win for Mizzou in 10 years…probably since we beat Nebraska for the first time in like two decades. It wasn’t always pretty, but they seem to be getting it done. Our lines are both pretty decent, and we haven’t had that in my lifetime.

    Auburn is good. For Missouri to be in title contention, we’ve pretty much gotta beat Nebraska next week, and then win the Big 12 title game. Two tall orders. Auburn still has bama, as well as the SEC title game. No clue who will come out of the East.

    All of this to say, I’d love to play Auburn for a National Championship. Oregon is really good, and it looks like they’ve got the clearest path — all they have to do is beat USC this weekend.

    • fife, i haven’t seen missouri play. [of course i’ve not actually seen any team play — i read the auburn games, play-by-play.] but i don’t know much about missouri. though i have to be honest… i don’t want to play missouri in the championship game. i’d like to see auburn and oregon. at the same time, though, i think auburn has as tough a remaining schedule to play as any of the undefeated teams. that’s bad in that it’ll be really difficult to remain undefeated; good in that if auburn runs the table, we definitely play in the championship.

      i’m still quite bitter about 2004, by the way. and believe it was a huge mistake.

      and i also have to be honest and admit that i’m an sec snob. i do think we’re the greatest conference.

  2. Nice tangent.

    Not only did I miss out on those two classics, but I also don’t know football. So I’ll quote The Princess Bride instead…

    “Have fun storming the castle!”

  3. You do random…well, you do random!

  4. Love that movie! “We have a piper down. I repeat, a piper is down!”

    Although, this came a bit after my college days. For me it was “Raising Arizona” (along with Monty Python and the Holy Grail).

    As a Georgia Tech alumnus, I don’t want to talk about football at this time.

  5. mark

    The quote comes from the song without which it cannot be summer in Philadelphia, “Summertime” by DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince. (He didn’t start releasing records as Will Smith until Men In Black.)

  6. Jason Miller

    Although this came before my college days, I have to agree with Kit that “Raising Arizona” is one of them for me. The moment they realize they both have the same tattoo is classic. Also, one of the best chase scenes ever.

    I’d talk about football, but I don’t care. Also, I’d have to use words like Kansas University, Jayhawks, and Chiefs. And yes, while the Chiefs don’t stink this season, a good Kansas City native must always add to that statement the requisite, “Yet.”

    That’s just what happens to your rosy outlook when you have the Royals and the Chiefs for your home-town teams.

    • you know what they say: only two hours of television a day — either educational or football. i don’t want you to lose your appreciation of the finer things in life.

      though i’m not sure kansas athletics qualify as one of those finer things in life…

  7. Doug Smith

    YES…My favorite post yet!!

    It was just the last week I was talking to my college students about this movie. They had no clue what I was talking about. I was extremely saddened that this new culture is missing out on one of my top 10 movies. I demanded they home and watch it immediately and I wouldn’t look at them again until they had seen it. Okay, that’s not true.

    …you hit it a good spot in my memories though!!!!!!

    shame on anyone else who doesn’t go right out and see this movie.

    Oh and WAR EAGLE!

    • doug, old friend, i’m not sure what it says about your tastes in reading that your favorite post of mine is one in which i did little more than ramble, spilling nonsense and drivel on a page… while drunk.

      just kidding about the drunk part.

      • Doug Smith

        sometimes a break from reality even if it is your drunken rambling nonsense is a welcomed change to your drunken ramblings about sensible things like christianity.

        • very true. it’s a general and well-known party rule that, while drunk, one should speak only of nonsensical things — so as not to confuse others or say anything one might regret.

  8. I still talk about the Fru-its of the De-vil. Or just shorten it to “Fru-its” on occasion. That was a great movie.

  9. JLynn

    Love, love that movie. The ‘Piper down’ quote was common in our family as my husband was playing in a pipe and drum band at the time.
    I don’t look back on my college days fondly. The major events in the arts that I can remember are the deaths of Joplin, Hendrix, Morrison and Allman.
    Yes, I am aware I am old.

  10. our college movie was The Princess Bride. We would stand in the lunch line quoting entire scenes. Someone would just throw out a random quote and off we would go.

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