pornography help

image courtesy of online psychology degree


I think I was in middle school when we found the magazine… though I can’t say for sure.  My age I can’t remember, but the photos are forever impressed upon my mind.

There was an empty cul-de-sac down the street, and a lot of teenagers hung out there.  We’d occasionally find evidence of their visits: cigarettes and used condoms on the ground, stashes of beer in the woods — I suppose the usual for rebellious high-schoolers.

We were a relatively innocent group of kids.  We had no desire to smoke what was left of the discarded cigarettes.  I didn’t even know what the condoms were — except that they were involved in the mysterious act of sex.  And the cans of beer, they were promptly shaken up and shot with pellet guns, the explosions of froth entertaining our group of 12 and 13-year olds.

But the magazine was different.  We saved it.  And looked at it.  On several occasions.

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I don’t know how you first came to look at pornography.  But my assumption — if you are a guy — is that you have.  I also assume you still look at it from time to time.  At least that’s what the statistics say, regardless of whether you’re a Christian or not.  

The internet has made looking at pornography easy.

But it’s our desire to keep this sin a secret that has allowed it to flourish.

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I’m going to post a bunch of links here, and I hope they’ll prove helpful to someone.  But before I do, I want to humbly offer my greatest single piece of advice:

Don’t seek merely to rid your life of pornography.  But seek God, and next to him your wife.  The solution is not in running away from this sin, but in running towards a greater power and a deeper love.  It’s only in seeking God that our evil desires can be remedied.  Only in holding firm to him can we stop grasping at lesser idols.

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Getting Serious About Pornography

How and Why Pornography Hurts a Marriage

The Harmful Consequences of Pornography For a Married Man

Sex Isn’t Selling (because it’s free)

Man Worry About Pornography Use

Generation Porn

Where Will It End?

Masturbation

Pornography Infographic

Porn Addiction Infographic

Emotional Pornography

How Do I Know If I’m Addicted to Pornography — A Test (not that any amount of porn is beneficial)

Sexual Addiction Test (not just pornography)

Tips for Recovery

Sexual Recovery (deals with all sorts of sexual sins and getting help)

XXX Church (probably the best source for Christian help with pornography)

Accountability Software (from XXX Church — I use this program)

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3 Comments

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3 responses to “pornography help

  1. Brett-

    To be honest with you I think the evangelical church has more or less forefeited the right to speak about issues such as pornography mainly because they don’t know how to address sexuality at all. In the circles I moved in sexuality was so criminalized I wouldn’t be surprised if more people got involved with pornography as a result of being in that culture.

    But personally in confidential channels I discussed common guy lust issues and it came back to haunt me. I had to contend with the ministry leader I confessed it to who used it more as a weapon down the road, who also put a job in jeoperady. His desire to “teach me the lesson of sin” was revolting and sickening. While I was also getting the shit kicked out of me by Pharises I discovered that my accountability partner of 8 years ended up living a double life. So while I limped forward, he walked away scott free, and I started discovering situations in the church (and I’m referring to several here…) where people lied to fit into the culture. The individuals who came clean were hammered and driven away, whereas others hid so they could survive and thrive “as a Christian.”

    And you think Christianity is healthy or good? This was one of the situations that taught me that Christianity is nothing but a fraud.

    But the other problem is that pornography is one of the little sins that the church likes to harp upon. And as I realized the church is totally subjective about what is sinful. Let’s be honest….there are many sins in the Bible routinely and regulary ignored becuase fundegelical Christinaity is a white, upper middle class, suburban movement. And since it thrives and grows out of the suburbs and rural areas it’s not going to address issues such as greed, materialism, pride, etc.. becuase that hit’s to close to him.

    In the mind of the fundegelical sin always happens to the other person, not to you. But getting back to the topic at hand I don’t think Christians know how to address this topic and until they do I think they should think carefully about what they say. Or better yet, I’d suggest it’s best if they not say anothing until they know what grace and loves is.

    Sorry for the harsh post, but my experience in evangelcalism was a nightmere. It was also an ugly follow up to being in Mormonism. And I still can’t believe (forgive me for saying this…) but how fucked up Christianity can be. From where I stand I view it more like a cancer on the earth, and how Christians reacted on isues such as the one you blogged upon helped teach me that point well.

  2. JMF

    Eagle —

    Firstly, thanks for teaching me a new word: fundegelical. 🙂 I like it.

    Secondly, I’m certain you’ve heard many times, “Eagle, a REAL Christian isn’t like that!” Well, that’s not really true, either. Jesus wasn’t like that, but the rest of us — at one time or another — pretty much act the way you described.

    Everything you wrote resonated with me. It pretty much summed up the first 32 years of my life (I’m now 34). I’ve learned, however, that there is more out there.

    I am so incredibly blessed to have found a church family that is changing me (as we change together). We are real. I could go into a Sunday morning class and announce that I’d just been in the bathroom looking at porn and masturbating and it would be met with yawns and disinterest. Our ministers/elders have announced their own shortcomings. Nobody cares anymore.

    And since we are out of the “perfect” judging business, we’ve been freed up to attack the other issues like greed, pride, etc. …And we attack it by trying/learning to be more like Christ. We look at porn addiction as something that is keeping us from being Christ to a broken world…not as something that makes us perverts.

    Brett —

    Your porn posts are among your least popular, if one looks at the number of responses. I find that interesting.

    • @ JMF….

      My experiences were different. In the circles I moved in you might as well have worn a target, gone to the rifle range and stood up front and been used for target practice. That was what mattered.

      And Christianity is the good news?!? What a joke!! JMF let’s come clean and call it for what it is….just a fraud.

      Just a former evangelical’s perspective…

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