Yesterday morning we vaccinated nearly 800 chickens. And I learned something interesting:
No matter how athletic, agile, or elegant one may normally be, it is impossible to appear graceful while chasing a chicken.
Yep, there were guys out there who have chased chickens every day for 40 years, but they still looked like first-timers to me. Sure, they got themselves into position a little better. And they did manage to look more natural while actually HOLDING the chickens (once they finally caught them). But, wow, they looked incredibly silly during the actual chase scenes!
There were young guys who, if they lived in the United States, would surely be the star athletes at their schools — tall, fit, and fast. But when pursuing poultry, they looked exactly like 7th grade me (albeit darker-skinned): They tripped over their own legs, their arm movements were reckless and jerky, and they usually did not walk away from the situation, chick in hand. [I wonder if they were also picked last for flag football every single day at P.E., like yours truly.*]
You see, it doesn’t matter for how many years you’ve kept chickens or in how many seconds you completed your middle school shuttle run, you are going to look a little awkward — and most likely downright clumsy — when attempting to run down a scrambling hen.**
Chasing chickens is, after all, the great equalizer. They don’t call it that for nothing, you know.