image courtesy of the journeys project
As Jesus and his disciples were preparing for battle, an argument broke out among the twelve. It seems James and John were being greedy with weapons, as each wanted to carry more than one pistol. There were a limited number of guns, though, and all the apostles badly wanted to pack heat.
Peter took aim, saying, “You sons of thunder should know better. Jesus taught us to share, and you guys are being selfish.”
“Well if you shoot like you swing a sword,” James fired at him, “we’d all be better off with me carrying your piece! Just ask Malchus.”
Wounded, Peter shot back, “Did you just say that yourself, James? Or did you beg your mommy to do it for you? If anyone deserves two guns, it’s me; I walked on water!”
At exactly this moment the Son of man entered the room.
“No one deserves two blasters,” explained Jesus. “Either you take one gun and share the other, or you get none and fare well, brother. No man can serve both God and cannon.”
When Simon the Zealot heard this he became very sad, because he had many guns.
Then Jesus made Peter, James, and John to go to the front of the line… where they would be the last to get their guns.